


Bassline Like A Migraine

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Plausible Deniability [3]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Car Sex, Costumes, Established Relationship, F/M, Feelings, First Date, First Time Blow Jobs, Intercrural Sex, Jealousy, Love Confession, M/M, Oral Sex, Pegging, Polyamory, Pregnancy Reference, Public Sex, Rimming, Shaving, Vomiting, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 18:15:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9619307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Sequel toLipstick And Fireflies.Further adventures with Dan and Holly into the world of polyamory.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HerbertBest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/gifts).



Dan sat at Holly and Ross’s kitchen table, with his head in his arms. He was two thirds of the way to dreamland, and the quiet noises and sweet warmth filling the kitchen weren’t helping.

“Dude,” said Ross, eyeing Dan, “you’ve spent more time sleeping at our house than you have fucking my wife.”

“Thanks for that, Ross,” said Holly, setting a plate in front of Dan, who jerked awake.

“What? What happened?” Dan jerked awake.

“As crude as he put it,” Holly said, sliding next to Dan, “Ross has a point. You’ve been exhausted lately, and I’m beginning to worry about your health.”

Dan leaned back, and he yawned, rubbing his eyes. “It’s my neighbors,” he told them. “They’re up at all hours, they play loud music and they just don’t _stop_ , and they have parties. I’ve had to clean fuckin’... beer cans out of my yard. I’m getting super stressed about it, which is taking away what little sleep I am getting.” He propped his head up on his chin, his eyes drifting shut again. “I’ve called the police half a million times, but it’s been four months, and nothing doing.”

“Huh,” said Ross. “So what I’m hearing is, you need to move.”

“Isn’t that kinda drastic?” Dan looked down at his plate, then took a forkful of eggs and transferred them into his mouth mechanically.

Everything was in a fog, and it was hard to think. All he wanted to do was sleep, preferably with his head on Holly’s chest.

It was nice to hear her heartbeat, and feel her breathing under him as he drifted in and out.

“You’ve tried everything else,” said Holly. “Maybe you could try staying here for a little while, see if they shape up?”

“If that’d be okay with you guys,” Dan said, anxiety knotting up in his stomach.

Would this be moving in? Would this be… well, it was a big commitment.

“They won’t shape up,” said Ross, and he looked grim. “I’ve had neighbors like that.” He kept his eyes on his plate. “But, uh… you could still move in. If you’d like.” He was turning slightly pink.

“... what, really? Isn’t that a bit… sudden? And, like… wouldn’t that bother you? Since we work together, and I’m kinda fucking your wife….”

“I’m more than just his wife, you know,” said Holly, her tone slightly annoyed.

“Fair,” said Dan. “I’m sorry, dearest.” He patted her hand with his own, enveloping her fingers in his.

“It’s alright,” said Holly. “But, uh, yeah. And we’ve been together for over a year, babe.”

“... shit. A year?” Dan stared up at the ceiling, counting in his mind.

A year. Twelve months.

Holy fuck.

"Can I... think about this?" Dan yawned, rubbing his eyes. "I mean, it's... it's a big step."

"Yeah, absolutely," Holly said quickly.

"It's not exactly something you run into," Ross agreed. "Just, uh... you're always welcome here." He looked uncomfortable, but sincere.

"Thank you," said Dan, genuinely touched. He... wasn't aware that Ross cared that much.

They were friends, sure, and they both loved Holly, but... wow.

Maybe it would be easier to process all of this if he wasn't so damn tired.

"Finish your dinner," Holly told him, "and come join us on the couch. If, um... if you don't mind Ross hanging out with us on date night? Since you don't seem up for much stuff we'd do if Ross wasn't around."

"I'd do it right in front of Ross if he asked nicely enough," Dan murmured, and he yawned cavernously.

* * *

Dan fell asleep, as he had hoped, with his head on Holly's chest, the top of his head right under her chin. He rose and fell with each breath she took, and the steady thrum of her heart lulled him further towards sleep. He didn't even care that his feet were dangling off the edge of the couch.

Orph didn't want to be left out of the party, and settled down on Dan's own chest. He didn't even notice that Ross was there, until a hand that was smaller than his, larger than Holly's was petting the cat.

"You're... quiet," mumbled Dan, his eyes shut.

Ross patted Dan on the head like he was a cat.

"You look like one of the pigeons," said Holly, her arm across his, her hand in his. "Does you have a snug?"

"Mmm," mumbled Dan, cuddling into her, her breast soft against his cheek.

He was asleep, between one heartbeat and the next.

* * *

Two days later, Dan pressed his face into his pillow and groaned, as the music from next door blared louder. It was three in the morning. They'd been up to this since nine.

He'd gone up to them, asked nicely. Called the police.

He was beginning to understand why people committed murder.

He groped for his phone, and opened up his text messages.

_Hey, I know it's late, but could I come crash with you guys? They're at it again._

* * *

"So you're moving in with Holly? Won't that be kinda... you know, awkward?" Arin was eating a sandwich, sitting across the table from Dan.

"I mean... it makes the most sense," said Dan. "Since I spend so much time there anyway, especially since the new neighbors moved in." He made a face, and bit his own sandwich. "Who the fuck plays "Cotton Eye Joe" until eight in the morning?!"

"You have the worst luck, man," said Arin. "You could always come stay with me and Suzy, if you'd like?"

There was an unspoken... tension, whenever the two of them were alone, which had thankfully started to lessen, but not to the point where Dan would want to live with them.

Arin had tried to kiss him

Dan had said no.

Arin had confessed that he didn't know if he had feelings for Dan, or just felt left out of all the poly shenanigans.

Dan had agreed that it must have sucked to be feeling like that, but he didn't know how he could help, since he wasn't into being used as an emotional experiment, and also wasn't into dudes.

Probably.

Maybe.

He hadn't told Arin that last bit.

"So Ross won't be weird about you living with them, since you're... well, you're his wife's boyfriend."

"I'm also his friend," Dan pointed out, resting his elbows on the table and rubbing his eyes. He was still so damn tired.

"True," said Arin. He paused. "Dude, you look like shit. You wanna have a nap on the couch? I can do a solo episode, you can just snooze."

"Nah," said Dan. "I might just be a bit more out of it than I usually am."

"You're usually pretty spacy to begin with," said Arin, and he laughed.

Dan rolled his eyes, and he prodded Arin in the shin with his foot.

Arin prodded him back, and he grinned. It was the same wide, silly Arin grin that he pulled whenever he made a particularly bad joke, and something in Dan's chest seized, like a hiccup, only moreso.

"Dude," said Arin, as Dan began to cough. "Are you okay?" He slapped Dan on the back, which made Dan cough harder, and then he pulled back, avoiding any other physical contact.

"I'm okay," said Dan, and he swallowed his sandwich, panting. "Just, uh... just really tired."

"Sure you don't want a nice nap?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

* * *

The move took time. A lot of time. Negotiations of space, of money, of renting out his current house, of figuring out where he would stay in Ross and Holly's place, where he would put his stuff, what he would do with his bed.

They had to play some room Tetris - combine Ross and Holly's office, so Dan could have the guest room, and Ross's old room could be the guest room, so everyone had a place for dates. Getting Dan acclimated to the animals (and the animals acclimated to Dan), getting Dan's stuff in, generally just sorting everything out.

It came through - these things always come through - but it took a while.

By the time it was done, it had been several months, and Dan was worn out.

He basically lived there anyway, so at least there weren’t too many adjustments to make.

"So does this make me your roommate now?" Ross flopped on the couch next to Dan, who had his feet on the coffee table and his hands behind his head.

"I guess so," said Dan. "Where's Holly?"

"She's dead to the world," said Ross. "She's been up since, like, five."

"Yeah, true," said Dan. He paused, and cleared his throat. "Which, uh... which bed is she sleeping in?"

"I have no idea," said Ross.

“Are you okay… with her sleeping with me… sometimes?” Dan cleared his throat.

“Dude,” said Ross, and he sat up completely, and looked Dan in the face. “Listen. I’m okay with you dating my wife. I’m okay with you fucking my wife. I’m okay with you sleeping with my wife. I’m okay with you being in love with her. You don’t need to constantly check in, okay?” He put a hand on Dan’s leg. “I appreciate the concern, but… like, I’m fine with you guys. I knew… I knew part of you moving in was both of you being affectionate together, and fucking, and all of that. I can live with that.”

Dan blinked, surprised by the impassioned speech.

“Okay,” he said. “Um. Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Ross, and he patted Dan on the shoulder. “I’m gonna go to bed, okay?”

“Okay,” said Dan. “And, uh… thanks.”

“For what?” Ross stood up, stretching, and his shirt rode up over his belly. Dan wanted to put his face in it, and that was… weird.

“Letting me live here. Being so cool about it in the first place. Being so nice.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Ross, and he shambled towards the main bedroom.

* * *  
Holly was in his bed, a quietly snoring lump. She had the blanket kicked around her ankles, and her shirt had ridden up in the back to show the ridges of her spine.

Dan smiled. If he hadn't had the ridiculous huge bed that he had, he would have been stuck hanging off of the edge. As it was, he could just stretch his arms and legs out.

He wrapped an arm around her, and he kissed her on the temple.

Holly made a soft sleep noise and cuddled closer to him, mumbled something, and then went back to snoring.

God, how was he so lucky?

* * *

Dan woke up to the sunlight dappling through the blinds, and Holly's weight on top of him.

"I'm sorry I just passed out last night," she told him, kissing along his jaw, then his lips, slipping her tongue inside of his mouth, her hands pushing his shirt up over his stomach, towards his nipples, then higher, until it was bunched up around his chin. She sat up just enough to give him room to maneuver, and threw it off to the side when he pulled it off. "I'm gonna make it up to ya."

"You don't have to make it up to me," Dan said earnestly, his hands finding her ass and squeezing it. "You can totally just stay where you are, and I will be happier than a clam with no pearls."

"... what?" Holly paused, looking down at him with one eyebrow up. "Clams don't make pearls."

"I just woke up," Dan said defensively, "and I'm a little... distracted." He ground his erection against the soft fabric covering her ass.

"Still," said Holly. "Clams don't have pearls."

"Would _you_ like some pearls? I could make you a necklace, even," said Dan, and his cock twitched in his pants, right up against her.

Holly snorted and rolled her eyes, but she was grinning.

"You know what? Sure. Sure. I would absolutely love a pearl necklace." Holly reached behind herself, and she squeezed his cock through his pajama pants, rubbing her thumb against the head through the sticky fabric.

"Wait, what?" He hadn't been expecting her to say yes. Although the idea of her with his cum all along her tits and neck was pretty damn appealing.

"... I wanna try something new," said Holly, and she looked embarrassed. "Would you be willing... that is, do you like the idea of sixty-nineing?"

"I'd... be willing to try," Dan said cautiously. "I'm not sure how it would work, what with the height difference and all...."

"You'll find a way," Holly said, her voice serene. "I'm sure you will. You always do." She pulled her shirt up and off of her, and she pressed forward, so that her breasts were in his face, pressing against the rough stubble of his cheeks.

"You want me to, uh, get up and shave first?" He kept his face in her cleavage, sucking gently at different bits of skin, pulling back when they were light pink.

"Nah," said Holly. She stayed like that for a few minutes, which couldn't have been comfortable, but her breasts were so soft, she smelled so _good_ , she tasted even better, and she made the most delightful sounds when he took her nipples into his mouth, sucking on them, flickering his tongue over the tips, her hands in his hair.

She pulled away, looking down at him with her green eyes, her hair catching the sun's rays. "I'm... if you keep doing that, I'm not gonna want you to do anything else," she told him.

"... so?" Dan kissed her right next to her nipple, inhaling the soapy, musky scent of her.

"I wanna try it," said Holly. "Please?"

"Alright, alright," Dan said, and he put on a mock heavy sigh, letting go of her breasts and moving to her hips. He squeezed them, then gave her a tap. "Unless you wanna just ride me?"

"I wanna suck your dick while you eat me out," said Holly, and she grinned when Dan blushed.

He always did love when she got vulgar.

"You gonna be good and take your pants off?"

"Well," Dan said, and he waggled his eyebrows, "since you're gonna be the one who's going down there, why don't you do it?"

Holly snickered, and she turned around, presenting him with her lovely posterior. And really, how could Dan resist the urge to grab her ass, when it was right there in front of him?

Out of all of his favorite parts of her - and his favorite parts of her was "all of her" - he was pretty fond of her ass. Especially when she let him play with it.

Holly made a surprised noise when Dan grabbed her ass, and she wiggled it in his hands. She began leaned forward, and she nuzzled against his cock through his pajamas, kissing the tip of it, then taking it into her mouth, getting the fabric soggy and wet.

Holly pushed Dan's pajama pants down, and she wrapped her fingers around his cock.

"Oo," said Holly, and she squeezed it, "look at who it is."

"Excalibur," Dan said cheerfully. "He's glad to see you too!" He flexed his cock, and he shivered, her warm breath ticklish against the sensitive skin of his cock.

"Why did you have to name your dick?" Holly sounded resigned, and she kissed the head of his cock, then wrapped her lips around it.

"It... gives it personality," Dan mumbled, and he pulled her shorts down, and craned his neck forward.

He could _just_ reach her ass from this angle, if he craned his neck. His hands could reach her pussy though, without any trouble.

He demonstrated this fact by sliding two fingers into her, and he found her wet and waiting, soft and warm, pulling his fingers into the moist heat.

"Ah!" She moaned around his cock, and then began to swallow him down, barely coughing as she took his dick down her throat, coughing when she came back up, then taking him back in.

She fucked his dick with her mouth, with her throat. She made herself into some kind of fleshlight and used him, taking pleasure out of giving pleasure to him.

He craned forward, and he put his face between her cheeks, pressing awkward kisses along the rim of her asshole, then sliding his tongue in, his fingers fucking her gently, then harder, the angle awkward, but the noises she was making around his cock were making him begin to shake.

Her thighs were hard on either side of him, and she was whimpering, as he curled his fingers inside of her, beginning to thrust them harder, right up where it was appreciated, as he licked and slurped, his tongue as deep as it could get.

Dan was so absorbed in eating her ass that he didn't realize he was about to cum, until the muscles in his belly were tightening up, and his cock was twitching in her mouth, then spitting cum into her mouth.

Holly reared back, coughing, and she spat her mouthful of cum out onto his thigh, effectively leaving him stuck.

"A l-l-little warning next time?" Holly pushed her hips back against his mouth, her head tilting back, breathing heavily. "Fuck, Dan...."

"Give me... like, twenty minutes," Dan mumbled.

"What, to warn you?"

"No," said Dan, and he pressed down on her clit with his thumb, harder, until she was cumming around his fingers, squirt dribbling down his wrist.

"You couldn't've warned me?" He teased.

Holly looked over her shoulder at him, and she stuck her tongue out.

Dan grinned at her, and wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm glad you live here now," said Holly, climbing off of him to go find a tissue.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," said Holly. "I can get cunnilingus on command!"

"Technically that was analingus," Dan said, as Holly swiped at the wet spot with a warm washcloth.

"You know what I mean," said Holly, and she looked at him with her big green eyes, soft and full of feeling.

Dan bit his lip, and ran his fingers over the tattoo on the inside of his wrist. It was already healed, but there was a tiny bit of texture there.

"Yeah," Dan said thickly, his throat closing up. He cleared it, noisily. "I'd, uh... I'd like to keep it this way. For as long as you'd like it. With me. Being here. Where you are. I mean, like, not like, all the time, but...."

Holly laughed, and she bent over him and kissed him, her breath warm against his lips.

"I know," she told him, and she kissed him again.

* * *

"Would you ever wanna have a threesome?"

Dan coughed, looking at Ross over his cup of tea.

It seemed like half of the aforementioned tea was now down the front of Dan's shirt.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Simple enough question," Ross said, pouring himself a glass of milk. "Would you ever wanna have a threesome?"

"What, in general? Or with someone in particular?"

"Well, it'd have to be someone's in particular, because how could it be a threesome otherwise?" Ross looked contemplative.

It was too damn early to be contemplative.

"I've had a few threesomes," Dan said, his voice a bit defensive. "They're... okay, I guess."

"But would you wanna have any more?" Ross went digging through the fridge. "How are we always out of hot dogs, even though I'm the only person in the damn house who actually eats red meat?"

"It's, like, nine in the goddamn morning," Dan groaned. "Why are you eating hot dogs?"

"I'm putting them in an omelette," Ross said, sounding offended. "It's not like I'm gonna stick them in a bun and eat it with mustard."

"Still. Hot dogs. This early." Dan yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"But threesomes. Would you ever wanna have another?"

"I dunno. If Holly asked, maybe? I don't think Suzy is gonna want to have a threesome with me, after all... that." He made a vague hand gesture, indicating the somewhat... tumultuous misadventures, when Suzy and Holly had first started dating.

"What if it was with me and Holly?"

How could Ross look so _calm_? Like he wasn't suggesting some kind of... weird thing, where he was offering Dan to not only sleep with his wife, but sleep with the both of them.

Was this a gay thing?

"I mean, uh... I didn't know you were interested. In that kinda thing. I thought you were, uh... straight." Dan cleared his throat nervously.

"I mean, I've been dating a nonbinary person for how many months now?" Ross raised an eyebrow, shutting the fridge with his hot dogs in hand.

"Well, okay, yeah, but I assumed...."

"You assumed what?" There was a bit of challenge in Ross's voice now.

"Never mind," Dan said hastily.

It is the ultimate bad manners to assume the genitals of someone, let alone someone you'd only exchanged about twenty words with altogether.

"So." Ross cleared his throat, looking slightly embarrassed, but ultimately pleased at getting to Dan to the degree that he was. "Holly's birthday is kinda coming up, and, uh... I was thinking... maybe for her birthday, we could... you know...." He waggled his eyebrows, standing a little too close to Dan.

"What kinda... threesome are you thinking of?" Dan swallowed, looking down into Ross's face. His eyes were _strikingly_ blue.

"We'd do what Holly asked for," said Ross.

"What if Holly asked for us to fuck? Like, my dick in your butt?"

"... I'd be willing to try," Ross allowed. "I'm... a bit more open minded than I was. At least, in regards to things going into my butt."

"Does Holly know about these plans?" Dan licked his lips. He tried to imagine what it would be like, to fuck a guy.

Butts were butts were butts, as far as he knew, but... no boobs. What would it be like fucking someone with no boobs?

Let alone a dick.

"Nope," said Ross. "I figure we'll tell her together. Maybe Friday night?"

"Sounds good," said Dan.

He made a surprised noise when Ross kissed him on the cheek, then groaned as Ross began to cackle.

* * *

Friday night, they were on the couch.

They spent a lot of time that way these days - Holly in the middle, usually with her feet in one lap, her head on one chest.

Dan was the chosen footstool tonight, and he was rubbing her feet, digging his thumbs into her soles and cracking each of her toes.

She was groaning, squirming against him, her toes curling against his fingers. She looked drowsy, horny, the kind of relaxed that she rarely let herself feel.

"So Holly," Ross said, stroking his fingers through her hair.

"Mmm?" She yawned, craning her neck back to look up into his face.

"Your birthday is coming up," said Ross.

"It is indeed," Holly mumbled, snuggling into Ross's chest.

"How would you feel about... a special present?"

"What kinda special present?" She was waking up now, propped up on her elbows.

“How would you feel about… fucking me and Dan at the same time?”

She blinked at Ross, then looked at Dan.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Yeah,” said Dan. “Totally seriously.”

“... when?” Holly sat up fully, and she looked… quite interested. Her eyes were going darker, and she was beginning to take deeper breaths.

“Whenever you wanted to,” said Dan, still rubbing her feet.

“Even now?” She licked her lips.

“Sure,” said Dan. “If you want.”

“Is this a… you know, is this a one time only thing?”

“Let’s… see how this goes,” said Ross.

Holly squirmed her way upright, and she kissed Ross, the kind of kissing she didn’t usually do in front of Dan. But Dan could see her tongue moving in his mouth, and Ross’s hands were on her breasts.

Holly broke the kiss and sat up further, leaning over and kissing Dan this time, with her tongue and her lips and her teeth. She held on to his hair, and she moaned into his open mouth, pressing him closer.

Ross was against her back now, and she pulled back, looking over at Dan with horny/sleepy eyes.

“You guys should kiss,” she told them.

That gave Dan pause.

“It’s, uh… it’s hard for us to do that, if you’re between us like that.”

Holly stood up, so there was no space between her two partners.

“Well?”

“Are you willing to gay it up?” Ross said in his most deadpan voice.

“I’d be willing to try,” Dan said, nervous. “I’d, uh… I’d be certainly willing to try.”

“So?” Ross leaned forward, towards Dan.

Dan leaned forward too. and their mouths bumped together.

Ross drew back, surprised.

Dan blinked at him, then glanced over at Holly.

She looked unimpressed.

“I think we gotta pull out the big guns,” Dan told Ross, his voice serious.

“What big guns? You’re not Markiplier.”

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Dan groaned, and then he kissed Ross, because Ross had such a smug look on his face.

This was a proper kiss, the soft pull and press of lips on lips. There was a hand on his shoulder, and then there was a gentle tongue against his lips.

Ross was a surprisingly delicate kisser.

Dan pulled him closer, instinctively, and Ross was lacking boobs, which made things more.. Interesting. Bonier. Ross was warm, he tasted like their dinner, and like milk, and like himself.

Men smelled different, tasted different. It was an elusive scent, and Dan chased it, with his lips and his tongue, gathering it up in the back of his throat, in his nose.

Dan pulled back, and he was panting.

"Wow," said Holly, and she sounded slightly stunned. "That was... a lot more intense than I thought it would be."

"Do you want us to stop?" Ross licked his lips - his eyes were dark, and he was panting.

Dan was surprised to find that... he didn't. He didn't actually want Holly to want them to stop. He wanted to keep kissing Ross. He wanted... well, maybe he wanted to do something else with Ross. Something more intimate. Maybe at least just take their shirts off first.

What the fuck? Was this some kind of gay awakening? So why did he still want to fuck Holly so bad, if he was suddenly gay?

"You okay, Dan?" Holly's voice was soft, and her hand was on his cheek. Her skin was soft, apart from the callouses on her fingers from when she worked on her costumes.

"It's okay," said Ross, and his hand was on Dan's shoulder. "Do you need a break?"

"N-no," said Dan, and he pulled Holly down, and he kissed her, his hand sliding over to hold Ross's, his other hand on her cheek.

Holly tasted familiar, and now he knew she tasted a bit like Ross, and how could he un-taste that? Did he want to?

"I'm okay with you guys kissing," Holly said, when they pulled back. "But I could stand to see a bit more of it, don't you think?" She licked her lips, clearly nervous.

"I'd recommend we do it in the bedroom," said Ross. "I don't, uh... I don't want to have my first threesome on the couch."

"Why not?"

"Well," Ross said, "for one, we'd have to get the couch cleaned."

"Oh ye of little faith," said Dan.

Holly just blushed.

There was an awkward break, when they hit the hallway.

"Um. Which bedroom are we gonna do this in?" Dan cleared his throat.

"Yours," said Holly. "You've got the bigger bed."

Dan couldn't put his finger on why something in his chest twisted a bit funny when she said that. But it made sense. The main bedroom was for Holly and Ross - why would they have a threesome there?

Anyway, he did have the huge bed.

Time went away for a while. But somewhere along the line, Holly had lost her shirt, Ross had lost his pants, and Ross's belt had been undone.

Holly was lying on her back, her legs gaped open, moaning quietly as one of Dan's big hands squeezed between her legs through her panties, pressing down on her clit with his thumb.

Ross was holding on to her breast, thumbing her nipples.

He was kissing Dan.

Ross and Dan were kissing, and Holly was watching them, and Dan was... well, he was getting used to it. His free hand was in Ross's hair, and the silky softness of it contrasted nicely with the sticky wetness on his other hand, as he fingered Holly, sliding his fingers under her panties to press on her clit.

"Fuck," Holly mumbled. "Please, just... keep doing it."

"Doing what?" Ross's tone was teasing.

"I don't... even know, oh my god," Holly groaned, as the two fingers inside of her twisted.

"I think she wants us to keep making out," said Dan. "Just a theory."

"You sure you don't wanna just cuddle?" Ross stayed teasing, although his hands were... going someplace interesting.

Namely, Dan's butt.

"I wouldn't wanna cuddle," said Ross, and his hand was squeezing.

Dan copied the motion, pressing down on her g-spot with two fingers, pressing down on her mound with his thumb.

"What do you have against cuddling?" Dan pouted. "I like cuddling."

"You guys can cuddle all you want," Holly mumbled, her hand groping along Ross's thigh, as Dan kept fingering her, "when you finish... with... me."

"How finished are we talking now? Because, like.. I don't wanna be finished with you until I'm completely finished. You know. Dead."

There was a pause.

"You had to be sappy about it," Ross said, deadpan. "I'm sorry. We can't have this threesome anymore. You brought feelings in."

"W-what?" Dan blinked, his heart dropping into his stomach, his fingers getting pruney from Holly's arousal.

"Of course," said Ross. "After inviting you into our house, our lives, and our beds, we will totally kick you out for having feelings."

"You are such a shit," Dan said, and he kissed Ross, mainly to shut him up.

Ross was chuckling against his lips, and Holly was beginning to shake under him, her pussy drawing his fingers in deeply as she came, wet and hot, all over his fingers, down his wrist.

"Do you want to get eaten out, baby?" Ross mumbled against Dan's lips, then pulled back, a line of spit drawing from his lips to Dan's.

"Next time," said Holly, and she squirmed under him. "I mean, uh... if you want there to be in another one. Another threesome, I mean."

Ross's dick was hard, and Dan was... touching it. When had Dan started touching it?

But there it was, under the soft fabric of Ross's pajama pants, and it was... it was solid and it was hot, and Ross shivered when it was squeezed.

Ross pulled out Excalibur, and then he gaped.

"Holly," Ross said, in a measured tone of voice, "how are you still standing?"

"What are you talking about?" Holly, still stuffed full of Dan's fingers, got up on her elbows, and she winced, as Dan prodded her in new and interesting ways.

Her pussy was certainly squeezing him in interesting ways.

"You take a regular beef injection from that thing?"

"Beef injection? _Really_?!" Holly covered her face with both hands. "Why do I put up with you people?"

"Because I can do this," said Dan, and he pressed down on her g-spot and her clit at the same time.

"I can do that," Ross argued, and then his finger was crammed inside of her too, right up against Dan's, and Holly made a startled noise, then moaned.

"How's that feel?" Dan was surprisingly breathless, watching Ross's hand, feelings Ross's arm against his own, Ross's finger being squeezed against his by the muscles of Holly's pussy.

"Full," mumbled Holly.

"You think her g-spot is wide enough for both of us?"

"Only one way to find out!"

Holly bawled like she'd been pricked with a thorn, when they both pressed against her g-spot, her clit a hard nub against their thumbs.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Holly wailed, and she seemed to be doing her darndest to climb off the bed, onto the ceiling.

“I think we’re doing it right,” said Dan, casual.

“You could do something with the hand on my dick,” Ross pointed out. “Or not,” he added hastily, no doubt catching the nerves on Dan’s face.

“No, no, I’m… I’m not afraid of dick,” said Dan. He took a deep breath, and he pulled on the waistband of Ross’s pajama pants, pulling them down around Ross’s thighs.

“Huh.”

“What?” Ross blushed. “It’s… not as big as yours, but it’s nothing to sneeze at.” He cleared his throat.

“It’s an awesome cock,” Dan said quickly. “Best I’ve ever seen.”

“... you’ve seen a lot, then?” Holly looked amused, even with her breasts heaving and her pussy still gushing.

“I mean, locker rooms,” said Dan, and he wrapped his fingers around Ross’s cock, squeezing it experimentally.

It was solid in his hand, solid and warm. It leaked a bit, and Dan cautiously swiped his thumb across the head, the pre-cum sticky, just like his own.

“Did you ever do that in a locker room?” Ross panted, and he was rocking his hips forward, into Dan's hand.

“Nope,” said Dan. “This is the first dick I’ve ever touched that I’m not actually attached to.” He wriggled his finger inside of Holly, and she squealed again, gasping.

Ross palmed Dan’s cock, and he gave it a long, slow stroke.

“Is this...is this your first dick?” Dan shivered, his hips rocking forward as he began to actually jerk Ross off, spreading pre along the shaft. He was still thrusting into Holly as well, in time with Ross. It was a weird ouroboros feeding into itself.

Holly came around both of their fingers, hard enough that it almost… well, hurt. It was hard enough to make Holly’s eyes roll back in her head.

Dan withdrew his hand, and he looked down at it. With a grin, he slid his finger into Ross’s mouth, still coated with Holly’s arousal.

“Aren’t you a dirty thing,” Holly mumbled, still twitching.

She and Dan both moaned, when Ross began to suck on his fingers.

"God, you taste so good," Ross actually moaned, and that made Dan's cock throb in his pants, and that was _extremely_ unexpected.

"Are you talking to me, or to Dan?" Holly sounded... anxious? Wait a minute.

Dan looked down at her, his eyes darting across her face. He leaned down to kiss her, and he found her soft and warm, familiar as his own name. He kissed her at the awkward angle, and he tried to quell the anxiety that was beginning to rise in him.

"You guys really seem to like each other," she murmured, against his lips.

"I'm pretty fond of Dan," Ross allowed, his voice deadpan as he played with the shaft of Dan's cock with his sticky fingers.

"Ross is great," Dan told Holly, "but you're my best girl. I promise."

She relaxed, and he didn't even realize that she had been holding that much tension.

"I'm sorry, I get... anxious," she said, and she was blushing. "I know, it's silly, you're doing all of this for me and I'm not even appreciating it...."

"It's okay," Ross said, and he let go of Dan's dick, of Dan's hands. "It's okay to be upset."

Dan kissed her on the cheek, tender, and he wrapped his arms around her, trying to quell his own crushing guilt.

"I'm sorry, pigeon," he whispered into her temple, cuddling up to her. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Holly said, and she huffed out a breath, clearly frustrated. "I... I like the... I like the idea of it. And it's hot. But when I saw how... into each other you were, I got all... because it feels like...." She made a frustrated noise. "I don't wanna end up being... second fiddle."

"You're the first fiddle. Always. I promise." He stroked her hair off of her face. "I... nobody comes before you. _Nobody._."

"Do you want me... would you rather me and Dan weren't physical?" That sounded like... regret in Ross's voice? That was unexpected, too.

Huh.

Was Ross carrying a torch for Dan?

"No, I'm... I'm okay with it. I think I might need some reassurance?" Holly cleared her throat. "If that's okay?"

"Of course it is," Dan soothed. "But what kinda reassurance do you need?"

"... can you tell me you won't leave me for each other? Or you still like me?"

"Of course I still like you," said Ross. "Would it help if you were more of an... active participant? Or do you want to stop the threesome altogether?"

"I... wanna keep going," said Holly. There were a few tears dripping down her face, and Dan wiped them off with his thumb. "I'm... what did I even do to deserve you guys?"

"Be awesome," Dan said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I love you," Ross said, his voice quiet. "I'll always love you. As long as I'm here."

For once, Dan wasn't... left out. He was part of this unit - maybe not the main part, but still a part. How had he seen it described? He was one of the arms of the "v".

Ross loved Holly, and Dan loved Holly, and Holly loved Ross, and Holly loved Dan.

It was that simple.

Dan cuddled up to her, and he held her, and Ross's hands were pressed against his chest, where Ross was holding on to her from the other side.

After some time, Holly sighed, and she squeezed both of their hands.

"I think I'm okay now," she said. "And, uh... I have an idea. For a thing."

"What kinda thing?"

"A sexy thing," said Holly, and she licked her lips. "How would you guys feel... about a double blowjob?"

"What, like a blow bang?" Ross rolled onto his back, and his erection was more or less gone.

Excalibur had calmed down, in all the emotions, but he was certainly willing to wake up again.

"Like... you guys press your cocks together and I blow them."

"... oh," said Ross, and he licked his lips. "I could, uh... I could go for that."

Touch dicks with another dude. Actually touch dicks.

Fuck it.

"Let's do it," said Dan, and he grinned in an attempt to hide his nerves.

There was a good deal of shuffling around to accommodate the both of them, and then their dicks were being held together, Ross's hand wrapped around the base.

Excalibur had certainly woken up.

Holly was in front of them, and her tits were out, hanging down, looking delicious and tempting as ever.

But if he reached out for them, he'd fall over, so it was probably a no.

More the pity, really.

Having his cock against Ross’s and a mouthful of Holly’s tits was… very much a thing he wanted, he was finding.

But then he had Holly’s mouth on his cock - on his cock, and on Ross’s cock - and who cared about anything, because it was….

It was alien, and it was familiar at the same time.

Holly’s mouth was soft, hot, wet as always. Familiar, enough to make his toes curl and his breath come in short, desperate gasps.

Ross didn’t seem to be holding on much better, and he was grabbing on to Dan’s ass, squeezing it.

Dan had one hand still on their dicks, the other one on top of Holly’s head, as she bobbed and sucked, doing clumsy things with her tongue.

"Holly, fuck," Ross mumbled, and he was thrusting his hips forward harder, his whole body beginning to tense up - his belly was rock hard, almost concave, and his thighs were like marble. He was going to cum, and he was going to cum right up against Ross's cock,

Ross's cock twitched against Dan's, and it was... it felt different.

Ross came first, and Holly pulled back, coughing, cum dripping down her chin. She dove back down, though, and Ross whimpered and gasped as she began to suck harder, working her tongue between the two of them, as Ross shuddered like he was in pain.

There was another man's cum touching Dan's dick, and Holly's mouth was around both of them, and there were obscene, wet noises all around him, and his cock was swelling, it was... it was....

Dan cried out when he came, and Holly took it down, swallowing it with Ross's cum, until Ross was pulling himself out of her mouth, gasping and groaning, and Dan was trembling, slumping back.

"Fuck," Dan murmured, and he pulled Holly towards him, kissing her.

She tasted salty, bitter, and he couldn't tell whose cum was whose - she moaned when he kissed her, and then he was kissing Ross, sharing the taste of their mingled cum. Then Ross was kissing her, and he was flopping back against the bed, panting heavily, still shaking.

"I think I did something to my jaw," Holly murmured, rubbing her cheek. She leaned against Dan, tangling her fingers with Ross's.

"Sorry, babe," said Ross, and he crawled to her other side, so that the two men were on either side of Holly. "Next time, you can both fuck my face."

"Next time?" Dan got up on one elbow, raising an eyebrow. "You mean Holly's next birthday?"

"It can be sooner than that," Ross said, and he was completely deadpan, even as his cheeks turned pink. "I mean, if you'd like it."

"I'd certainly like it," Holly piped up. She pulled Dan back down. "We can talk about it when we're not all covered in jizz."

Dan yawned, snuggling closer to her, one hand over Ross's, his face pressed into Holly's neck.

He... was pretty sure he wanted a next time. He just wasn't sure how he felt about being so okay with it.

That was a problem for future Dan.

Current Dan had two warm, cuddly bodies in bed with him. He'd have to get up and pee soon, but for now... he was gonna enjoy the body heat.

* * *

"We should have a D Club meeting," said Arin, out of the blue.

Dan snorted.

"What is it with you and the D Club?" Dan maneuvered his way around an obstacle. "Booyah, baby!"

"I just think it's healthy," said Arin, his voice defensive. "You know... break down those barriers. Run away from toxic masculinity."

"You are like the least toxic masculine person I've ever known," said Dan. "Your favorite color is pink, for fuck sake."

"Well, yeah, okay, but still. There's... levels of that shit, you know?"

"I guess? I mean... I'm not as...opposed to it as I used to. I saw Ross's dick."

"When did you see Ross's dick?!" Arin sounded positively _scandalized_ , and his expression was fucking hilarious.

Dan started laughing, laughing so hard he was snorting, laughing so hard he flopped back onto the couch and cackled like he was being tickled, because Arin's face was just so... so....

"I mean," Dan panted. "We do live together now. Sometimes you accidentally see people naked."

"You haven't accidentally seen Holly naked, I bet," said Arin, and Dan shot him a Look.

He wasn't out about the whole poly thing to the Lovelies, because why did they need to know the details about his personal life? They got creepy enough with the little bits they gleaned already.

"Well, that's different," said Dan. And it was true. He hadn't seen Holly naked accidentally. He'd seen her naked on purpose. Many times.

He wished to continue seeing her naked, for as long as he could see.

"Why, because she's a married woman?"

Arin was definitely needling him.

"Because it'd be rude to just look at your friend naked," snapped Dan, and immediately regretted it. He always hated losing his temper.

"You think I'm being rude when I bring up the D club?" Arin glanced at Dan, and he looked pretty remorseful.

"No, no, I know it's your thing," said Dan, and then he started giggling again. "To show off your thing."

"My dingus."

"Your shlong."

"Next time on Game Grumps, we come up with more ways of describing the marvelous man meat that is the brontosaurus that is my dick!"

"That was a longass sentence, Arin, Jesus."

Arin turned off the recording equipment, then faced Dan, his face serious. "I'm really sorry," he said, and his voice was genuinely remorseful. "That was... really outta line. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Dan said, and he reached out to pat Arin on the shoulder.

Arin sighed, leaning into it, and he looked up at Dan through his eyelashes.

Arin had the most beautiful brown eyes, and it made Dan's chest seize, and what the fuck was _that_ reaction?!

"I, uh...." Dan licked his lips. "Do you honestly wanna know why I saw Ross's dick?"

"I figured you'd walked in on him in the bathroom or whatever," said Arin. He didn't comment on the fact that Dan's hand was still on his shoulder.

Dan was eternally grateful.

"Actually... we kinda... we had a threesome. Me and Ross and Holly."

"What?"

"You know... Holly's birthday is coming up, and, uh... Ross thought it'd be a good idea for... for us to do something special for her. Like that. So we did."

"Did you actually, like... was it gay?"

Dan blushed, and he pulled his hand away, rubbing his palms together.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah?"

"... it was kinda gay."

"What, did your dicks touch?"

"Yeah. They... they really touched."

"Whoa." Arin sat back, staring up at the ceiling with a slightly shocked expression. "Holy shit, man. I gotta just... absorb this."

"Absorb what?" Dan rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get comfortable. Why as he so self conscious? And why was he noticing how soft Arin's lips looked?

Fucked if he was getting another crush. Just... fuck that noise.

"The fact that you actually touched dicks with another guy. Not, like, in a cockfight kinda way, but like... actually... touched dicks."

"It wasn't just some other guy," Dan said quickly. "It was Ross. Ross barely counts."

"What, barely counts as a dude?"

"No! Barely counts as some dude. He's Ross. I live with the guy."

"Yeah, because you're dating his wife."

"Well, yeah. But there's... you know."

"So did you touch dicks with Barry, when you lived together?"

"No, that was different."

Arin nodded, as if it all made perfect sense. Then he cleared his throat.

"Um."

"Um?"

"This is gonna be... like, super awkward," said Arin. "Just a warning."

"'cause the rest of this conversation has been the height of ease and chill," said Dan, his voice deadpan.

Ross was really rubbing off on him.

In more than one way.

"I... remember when you told me that you weren't really into dudes, and also that you didn't just want to be my experiment or whatever?"

"Yeah?" After Arin had tried to kiss him. It had been awkward.

"I... I've figured some stuff out." Arin fiddled with his hands. "I think... now that Suzy's calmed down with the poly stuff, and I'm not feeling so... left out, I thought maybe I'd wanna stop, like, making out with you whenever I see you. Since I'm getting my needs met or whatever. But it's actually gotten... stronger. Like, really stronger." Arin was babbling now, very clearly avoiding Dan's eyes. "I don't wanna... like, I jerk off to you, right? But I'm thinking about shit like... holding your hand, stuff like that. It's... fuck." He covered his mouth with one hand. "I'm sorry, I'm just dumping all of this on you at once."

"It's okay," Dan said, although it wasn't entirely okay. "I, uh, I need to pee. I'll be right back."

"Sure, sure," said Arin, and he was wearing such a cheerfully anxious expression that it made all of the hair on Dan's body stand on end.

The door slammed when he rushed out to the bathroom.

* * *

_Holly. Hols._

_What's up? Aren't you in a Grump session?_

_Arin just dropped a feelings bomb. How do I react to this?_

_Babe, he's been shooting you cow eyes for months. Suzy says he won't shut up about you."_

__< i>Wait, Suzy knows?_ _

__I'm pretty sure Audrey knows, at this rate. Arin isn't subtle._ _

__What do I do?!?!_ _

__Well, you can tell him you appreciate the thought, but you're not into him. Or you could tell him that you might be into him. Or that you are into him. It all depends on how you feel._ _

__You know you're my number one no matter what, right?_ _

__I know. I mean, we're poly. I'm okay with you dating, or seeing other people._ _

__Even if they're Arin?_ _

__Even if they're Arin._ _

__Would you be okay with me going on a date with him? Or at least, like, lunch, maybe with some kissing?_ _

__Sure. I love you, fuzzball._ _

__Love you too, pigeon. </i>__

_* * *_

Dan almost slunk into the Grump room, perching on the edge of the couch.

"So, uh, you ready to start the next episode?" Arin avoided eye contact, staring at the screen.

"Well, um, first." Dan cleared his throat, and he looked over at Arin. "Would you wanna go to dinner, maybe on Thursday? I think Suzy and Holly are going to the movies, so we're both pretty, uh... unobligated. If that's even a word."

"... are you asking me out on a date?" Arin's face was wearing something like hope, and something like suspicion, as if Dan was gonna pull back and yell "Fooled ya!" like something out of the Simpsons.

"Kinda, yeah," said Dan.

"Like, a friend date, or like a date-date?"

"An... "I'm not sure yet" date?" Dan swallowed thickly, his throat clicking. "I mean, uh... I'm kinda... new at this whole dude thing. I only really kissed another dude, like, two weeks ago."

He'd been kissing Ross more since then - nervous, tentative kisses over his tea, soft, light kisses next to Holly on the couch.

It was all new and delicate, and it felt like it would pop like a soap bubble if they looked at it too closely.

But Dan kissed Ross now, and Ross kissed Dan, and that was a thing that Dan was okay with.

Holly seemed pretty okay with it too, apart from needing the occasional reassurance.

How would kissing Arin be any different?

"It sounds good," said Arin, and he was grinning, really grinning, wide as anything. "Where would you wanna go?"

"We can figure that out later," said Dan, leaning back into the couch. "Ready to start the episode?"

"Yeah," said Arin, and his knee was touching Dan's. "Yeah, sure."

* * *

"What do I even wear?" Dan groaned, covering his face with both hands and flopping back on his bed.

"Clothes," said Holly.

Dan shot her a Look.

"Couldn't resist," Holly said, holding her hands out in surrender. "I'm sorry." She stretched, her shirt riding up, and Dan resisted the urge to press his face into her soft, pale belly.

"But seriously. What do I wear that says "maybe I want to try making out with you exchange a blowie or two" without coming on too strong?"

"Would you really wanna give Arin a blowjob?"

"I mean, I don't know?" Dan shrugged, uncomfortable. "The idea feels... weird, but kissing Ross felt weird at first, and sharing you with him felt weird, so I'm kinda lost on how to react to things that don't feel weird at this point."

"I'm not sure if I'm insulted or reassured by that," Holly said dryly. She shoved a button down shirt at him. "Wear this."

"Why this, specifically?" He pulled his shirt off, then began to button it up onto him.

"You wore it the first time you had sex with me," said Holly. "Maybe you'll get lucky." She waggled her eyebrows, and Dan burst out laughing.

Dan took her face in his hands, and he kissed her, then pulled back, pressing her forehead to his.

"I'm already lucky," he told her, dead serious. "I've got you."

It was one of the cheesiest lines he'd ever uttered (including his own damn song lyrics), but it just came... bursting out, like a bird from a cage.

Holly blushed, and she held on to his shirt, tucking her head under his chin. She was... was she shaking?

"Are you okay, pigeon?" Dan kept his voice gentle, holding on to her tighter. "If you're... if you'd rather I not go out with Arin, that's okay."

Holly huffed out a sigh, and she sounded rueful when she spoke.

"It's so stupid," she said. "Because... I know how you feel about me." She rubbed her thumb against the pigeon tattoo on the inside of his wrist. "It's just, like...." He felt her make a face against his collarbone. "You guys are such good friends, and I know that he can give you stuff, and I worry that he's more... fun, you know? Like, you'll go to him to have fun, and then just come home to boring ol' Holly."

Dan held on tighter, and he kissed the top of her hair.

"You're not boring," he told her. "You could... if all you ever wanted to do was stay home and watch movies and pet the cats, I'd be okay with it because I'd be doing it with you, okay?" He cleared his throat. "Arin and I are best friends, and... maybe it'll get physical. I dunno."

"Do you think you could fall in love with him?" It was a quiet, mumbled question, her breath warm and damp against him.

"I dunno," said Dan. "Do you want me not to?"

"That wouldn't be fair," said Holly, and she stepped back from him, wiping her eyes angrily. "I'm sorry. I don't... I'm not usually like this. I didn't think I got jealous."

"I can... I can not fall in love with Arin, if you'd like?" He didn't know if he would fall in love with Arin. Maybe he could nip it in the bud?

Probably not, actually. He just hated seeing Holly crying like this.

"No, no, I want you to be happy," said Holly. She sighed gustily. "I may just... can you keep me updated? On your feelings. With him, or with Ross, I guess. And maybe just... I dunno, can I ask for reassurance?"

"Always," said Dan, and he was surprised that he meant it. Usually, this kind of emotional work was... well, work. But he didn't feel frustrated or resentful. He just wanted to do whatever it would take to make Holly happy.

Hello to the new, mature Dan Avidan?

Or maybe love was making him more patient.

Or something.

Holly sighed, and she leaned against him again, kissing his chin. She made a noise.

"You should shave," she told him. "You don't wanna give Arin a bunch of rug burn someplace delicate."

"Holly," Dan said, scandalized, "are you implying I put out on the first date?"

"Yep," Holly said, and she was grinning again, her body posture more relaxed.

She seemed to be feeling better, at least.

"I am offended," Dan said, putting on his best mock insulted voice. He grabbed her ass, giving it a squeeze.

She gave him a Look.

"Go shave," she said. "It'll give you a chance to lose the boner. Don't want Arin to think you're too eager, do ya?"

Dan snorted, unbuttoning his shirt and making his way towards the bathroom.

* * *

Arin was also wearing a button down shirt, and actual pants for a change. He had just washed his hair, and had even trimmed his beard.

"Hi," said Arin, standing in front of the door, as Dan put his shoes on.

(The door had to be closed, or else one of the cats might go a'wandering).

"Hi," said Dan.

"You guys look like the straightest straights to ever go on a date with each other," said Ross as he walked by, towards the kitchen.

Dan blushed.

Arin gave him the finger.

Holly came in as well, holding Orph. She gave Arin a nervous smile, and then she started to chuckle.

"It's, uh... switch of roles, huh?" She scratched Orph under the chin, and he purred loud enough that Dan could hear him from where he was putting his shoes on.

"Yeah," said Arin. "I promise I won't cover him in lipstick?"

Holly snorted, and she kissed Dan on the mouth.

"Me and Suzy are gonna be out late," she told him. "Have fun at dinner, you too."

"Do you have a date, Ross?" Arin was rubbing his hands together, shifting from one foot to another.

"Nope," said Ross, deadpan. He was eating a cookie. "I am forever alone. While my wife and my wife's boyfriend go off on wild, sex crazed dates, I will be at home, feeding pigeons and bearded dragons and cats."

"The pigeons don't need feeding," Holly called from the other room.

"I'll see you later," said Dan, and he resisted the urge to kiss Ross goodbye, as he opened the door.

That was still... it was still new enough that he wasn't sure he wanted to share it with anyone who wasn't Holly.

Not even Arin.

"So, uh... what kinda place is this?" Dan shoved his hands in his pockets, following after Arin as they made their way towards the car.

"A pretty good place," said Arin. He opened Dan's car door for him, and Dan snorted, climbing in.

"Aren't you feeling chivalrous," Dan teased, buckling his seatbelt. "If you pay, does that mean I gotta put out?"

"I'm a man of modern values," Arin said, his voice dead serious. "I don't just expect sex to just pop out when I insert food."

Dan snorted, as Arin turned the car on.

* * *

It was a normal dinner. They made bad jokes, including Arin doing an impression of Yoda losing his virginity that had Dan laughing so hard that he almost passed out, his face red and his eyes nearly popping out.

Arin's foot was pressed against Dan's from across the table, but that... that was okay.

It was all surprisingly okay, to a degree that Dan was almost suspicious.

First dates were never this easy. Even first dates with friends always ended up feeling a bit anxiety inducing.

But no.

This was easy as... well, easy as any other time they hung out.

They even got coffee afterwards - well, Dan got coffee, Arin got a bottle of juice, and they walked back to the car in easy conversation.

So did he... like Arin? Was he romantically interested in him?

How would he be able to tell, when they had this kind of easy connection?

Dan sighed, a huff of breath that forced his hair back, and then he laughed ruefully.

"What's up?" Arin shot him a glance as they approached the parking lot. "Eat too much?"

"Nah, it's...." Dan sighed heavily, dropped his empty coffee cup in a nearby garbage can, and scrubbed his eyes with both hands, trying to put his thoughts in order.

"I'm... like, I'm...." He groaned. "I'm not used to going on dates with dudes. Like... you're the first one I've gone on a date with."

"What about Ross?"

“We aren’t really… dating,” said Dan. “I mean… I don’t know.” He sighed. “There’s… maybe something? But it’s… like, I dunno if he’d wanna go on dates with me, or if we’ll just keep operating as people who live together and kiss each other and maybe fuck each other sometimes.”

“Would you wanna be like that? With me, I mean.”

“Well, no,” said Dan. “We don’t live together.” He laughed nervously, as they stood in front of the car.

“Can we… you want me to take you home? To your home, I mean. Not to my home.” Arin cleared his throat. “I mean, we could go to my home, although my home is a bit… I mean, Suzy is probably still out with Holly, if you wanted to, uh… come over.”

“I’m gonna go home,” said Dan. “i’m pretty tired. It’s been a long day.”

A confusing one, to be very sure.

When they arrived at Dan’s front door, Arin stopped the car, sitting there awkwardly. He cleared his throat, then put a hand on Dan’s leg.

It was very hot, even through the denim of Dan’s jeans.

“Would you, uh… would you want some company?” Arin cleared his throat. “Since Ross is still at home, we could… we could play Mario Party or something?”

Dan laughed. “Nah. I’ll let you go home. But I’ll see you at the office tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Arin said, and he looked… dejected, although he put on a brave face.

“I had a fun time,” Dan said, and he leaned forward, impulsively, and he kissed Arin on the mouth, gentle as a sigh.

It was a little bit like getting an electric shock, sparking out from his lips to his fingers, a sharp little bite of… something.  
“Oh,” said Arin, and one of his hands went up to press against his lips. “Did you… did you do that because you felt sorry for me, or… because you wanted to?”

“Because I wanted to,” Dan says, licking his lips.

“Do you wanna… do it again, maybe?” Arin’s eyes were on Dan’s mouth.

“Well, I already made the first move,” said Dan. “I think it’s, uh… it’s your turn.”

He was going to lose his nerve. His hands were shaking, and he wanted… he wanted….

Arin kissed him, and now that Dan was paying attention and not just running on pure terrorized adrenaline (what if I ruin our friendship what if I don’t like it what if he hates me what if he thinks I’m a bad kisser) he could appreciate the way Arin’s mustache tickled his upper lip, and Arin’s hands were cradling his face, and Arin’s lips were dry, and when they pulled apart, Arin was panting, and there was a drop of sweat dripping down his cheek.

“Oh, fuck,” Arin mumbled, and he kissed Dan with some kind of desperation,

“How long have you… how long have you wanted to do that?” Arin mumbled against Dan’s lips.

“I have… no idea,” Dan mumbled back. His hands were in Arin’s hair. Arin’s thin, silky hair.

A lot thinner than Holly’s, but it was soft and warm, and Arin made some… really delicious noises when Dan pulled on it.

Which he was doing. How about that.

Dan pulled back, and he let go of Arin, shaking.

“I… I need some air,” Dan mumbled, pulling back. “Can I… can I see you tomorrow?”

“Well, duh,” Arin said, and he looked amused, if a bit shook up himself. “We’ve got a Grump sesh.”

“Right. Right.” Dan reached over and patted Arin awkwardly on the knee, then unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out of the car.

He had a boner and he was also kinda about to have a panic attack. How about that?

He waved at Arin as the other man drove off, and then he let himself in.

“Hol?” Ross called from the workroom.

“No,” Dan called back. “Just me!”

“Oooo my,” said Ross, sauntering out with a smug expression. “How was your date?”

“It was fine,’ Dan said, mechanically taking his shoes off.

Ross looked him up and down, raising an eyebrow.

“You, uh… you okay, man?”

“I’ll be okay,” Dan said. He blinked at Ross, aware of his boner, aware of the fact that he was having feelings… somewhere. Some distant part of him.

It was kinda nice, having it be this quiet.

“... Dan? You’re shaking.” Ross was using his concerned voice, which always put Dan on end.

“I’ll be fine,” said Dan. “I just need to go to bed, I think.”

“How about we get you a nice glass of tea first?” Ross took Dan’s hand carefully, helping him walk towards the kitchen, then sitting him down.

“Tea doesn’t come in glasses,” Dan mumbled, staring at his hands on the wood. “We’re not Russian.”

“I could be,” said Ross, setting a mug of tea down in front of Dan. It had Dan’s favorite green tea.

“Yeah, sure, Mister O’Donovan,” Dan said, drawing out of his blankness to snark.

“Names get Americanized,” Ross said. “I know someone whose name was changed from Moscovici to Morse!”

“But that wouldn’t be Americanized,” said Dan. “That would be Irish… ized.”

‘What, when Irish eyes are smiling?”

Dan let out a whoop of laughter, and nearly upset his tea. He began to laugh, hysterical laughing, the kind of laughing that makes you worry about the state of your underwear and whatever rug you’re standing on.

“Breathe, Avidan,” said Ross, after almost five minutes of hysterical, desperate laughter. “Holly would kill me if you dropped dead in the kitchen.”

“I’ll m-m-make sure to… to drop dead in the… in the guest room.”

“Then where are we gonna bring dates, huh? I can’t exactly bring someone new into the room and be all, “hey, by the way, that stain? That’s me and my wife’s live in boyfriend.””

“... am I your live in boyfriend?” Ice in his veins. Why was he not being consulted about this shit? Didn’t people talk about this stuff?

“Well, you’re Holly’s,” said Ross. “And, uh… maybe you… might wanna be mine? In the future?”

“Aren’t you straight?”

“I have been with a nonbinary person for a year!” Ross said, in an annoyed tone of voice. “Why do you keep forgetting that?”

“I’m sorry,” Dan said, holding his hands up in front of him.

“It’s okay,” Ross huffed. “But yeah. Uh… I mean, you kiss me an awful lot, for someone who isn’t dating me.”

“But it’s… it’s… gah!” Dan let his face fall down onto the table, pressing his forehead into the wood. “It’s… there’s a difference. Between, like, making out with someone, or all of that, and actually being… you know, dating.”

“Are you freaking out because you went on a date with Arin?”

“Maybe?” Dan sighed, pressing his face into his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m just unloading on you.”

Ross shrugged. “I’m not doing anything else.”

“Like... what if this takes me away from Holly? What if I stop loving her as much. What if I stop loving pussy? I’ll lose my pussy skills!”

“I doubt you’re gonna lose your pussy skills,” said Ross, in a long suffering tone. “Trust me on that.”

“How would you know about my pussy skills? You don’t have one!”

“We share a wall, Dan,” said Ross, in his best “talking to a slow person” voice. “You think I don’t hear Holly when you’re doing whatever it is you do to her?”

“... fair,” said Dan. “I dunno.” He sighed. “All of this just feels like… so many changes, so fast. I mean, fuck, not that long ago, you couldn’t pay me to even look at another dude’s dick, now I’m… seriously considering giving someone a blowjob. What if… with all this shit, I don’t even know who I am, by the end of it all?”

“I mean, do you still have the same favorite colors? Favorite foods?” Ross took a swig of his water. “You still love your parents, you still love Holly, you still remember how to play god knows how many instruments, right?”

“Well, yeah, I’m not gonna just forget that shit,” said Dan, halfway to indignant.

“Then you’re not gonna just… turn into a new person, without your own consent,” said Ross, as if that settled it. “Or maybe I’m full of shit. I dunno.”

“As good an answer as any,” said Dan, and he took a swig of tea. “Now for the really awkward question.”

“Mmm?”

“How do I learn to give a blowjob?”

* * *

“So you want to have another threesome?” Holly stared at herself in the mirror, and she frowned, adjusting her bow tie. “Are you sure that this looks okay?”

“You look amazing,” said Dan. “And, uh… yeah. Another threesome. With you and Ross.” His stomach was full of ice. “I mean, uh… if you want. If you’re not comfortable with it, that’s totally cool.”

“I’d be… okay with it,” Holly said slowly, her expression thoughtful. “But not tonight.”

“Well, obviously,” said Dan. “He’s not gonna be coming to Rocky Horror or anything, is he?”

“He’d make a good Frank,” Holly said.

“No way,” said Dan, and he rested his chin on her shoulder, his hands going to adjust her breasts in her bustier.

“Why not?” Holly squirmed against him, some of the glitter from her outfit getting on his.

“He’s not leggy enough,” said Dan. He eyed his own costume, and he winced. “Do the pants have to be this tight?”

“Yes,” said Holly. “Now.” She turned around and kissed him, grinning. “Are ya ready?”

“I never did take you for a Rocky Horror type of gal,” said Dan, examining his own reflection, as Holly moved to make further minute adjustments to her costume.

She looked pretty close to the original Columbia, albeit taller and less skinny.

“What, I can’t enjoy dancing and singing like a fool sometimes?”

“Well, no, I never said that,” said Dan. His hair was greased down with some product akin to engine grease, and he felt weird in the leopard print.

“So? Let’s go.” She walked, and her shoes clicked on the hardwood as she went.

* * *

The theater was raucous and rowdy, full of cheerful people in weird costumes.

“Why don’t we do this more often?” Dan wrapped his arms around Holly’s middle, resting his hands on her belly, right on hem of her corset.

It was a packed house, and they’d even removed the seating, to cram more people in.

Truth be told, it probably wasn’t very safe.

But who cared, when they were shouting and dancing, throwing things at the screen.

Okay, so they were kind of in the back. And Holly couldn’t see much.

But Holly’s ass was pressed against his front, and in those tight pants it was… it wasn’t the best setup, but he couldn’t muster it in him to care, because she was… there was no way she wasn’t doing that on purpose.

“Hot patootie,” he whispered in her ear, and she giggled.

She giggled harder when his hands moved up a bit, the very tips of his thumbs along the top of the corset.

“You know,” Dan whispered, as the audience threw toilet paper at the screen, “if you really wanted to be accurate, we should pull this lovely thing down, give everyone a look….”

“Dan,” Holly said, scandalized, then pitched her voice higher. “Eddie!”

“Bless my soul,” Dan said, and Holly’s hands were on top of his, pulling… bustier… down. Oh god.

Holly pulled Dan’s hands over her breasts, and they were right there, popping out and propped up by the bustier, like something out of one of those godawful porno comics that Arin was always showing him.

“Peekaboo,” Holly whispered, lolling her head back against his shoulder, and she must have been giddy with the energy of the place, because she was… she was rocking her hips back against him, in the familiar wide stance she always took when she was horny and didn’t want her arousal to get all over her inner thighs.

“We’re not up to that part of the movie yet,” Dan told her, as he rolled her nipples with his fingers. “Give it a bit.”

“I can’t reference callbacks when you’re feeling me up?” Holly’s voice was breathless.

“You totally can,” Dan said, his erection hard against her ass. He kind of wanted to take his dick out, but that might be pushing things.

The couple a bit in front of them didn’t have that compunction - one of the guys was getting a blowjob - it was a rowdy bunch tonight, it seemed, and this theater wasn’t the most savory place.

“Meatloaf again?” Holly said, her voice high, as one of Dan’s hands slid into her sparkly, spangled shorts, finding her wet and wanting under her panties and her stockings.

“You gotta do it more through the nose,” said Dan, finding her clit and diddling it with the tip of his finger.

“I’m a l-l-little distracted,” Holly mumbled out, as he gathered more of her wetness with one finger, then went back to her clit.

“No excuse,” Dan scolded, and now his finger was inside of her, his thumb against her clit, and she was shuddering, her knees going weak.

“D-Dan, we could… we could get kicked out,” Holly murmured, but she had her hand over his, squeezing it, as he pulled on her nipple.

“You’re right,” Dan said into her ear, and he was… practically giddy. Sure, his wrist was cramping and he was scared shitless, but the crowd around them was calling out, dancing, raunchier than the action on screen. “Lucky for us, we’re miles from home and we never go to this theater anyway.”

“Is that… is that why you chose it?” She was bearing down on his finger now, and he added another finger, grinding her clit with the heel of his hand.

His wrist was already starting to hurt, but this was totally worth it.

“Maybe,” he said, squeezing her vulva, then returning his thumb to her clit and twitching over it.

“Dirty thing,” she crooned, right in his ear, and then she came against his hand, her pussy fluttering around his fingers, gushing enough fluid to make his skin pruny.

“I’m not the one with slimy underwear,” he reminded her, although that wasn’t strictly true. His cock was leaving a nice wet spot in his boxers - they were going to be… fun to take off later.

“... sure does sound appealing when you put it like that,” said Holly in her normal voice, as Dan carefully eased his hand out of her pants. “Do you have a way to, uh… clean that.”

“Sure,” Dan said, and he made eye contact when she turned around, grinning and beginning to lick his fingers clean, one after the other.

Holly wrinkled her nose, but she looked amused.

“Do you want some, uh… help with that?” She was adjusting her bustier with on hand, to cover her nipples. Her other hand was between his legs, her palm curved over his cock.

“No, I think I’ll be okay,” said Dan. Then he paused. “Unless you wanna… leave a little early?”

“What did you have in mind?” She met his eyes, and she was rubbing her thighs together again, clearly still willing for another go.

“Well….”

* * *

"This may be the most r-r-risky thing I've ever done," Holly mumbled, as Dan pushed her  
shorts and stockings down and around her thighs.

"Shh... nobody can see us," said Dan, fiddling his own pants open and shoving them down.

Fuck, that felt better - his cock was hard and throbbing, after watching Holly in that skimpy outfit. Even the ridiculous makeup did something for him, although maybe it was because it was Holly that was wearing it.

She could do almost anything, and he's probably find it sexy.

He'd already had some... interesting fantasies with her in them. His brain, finally settled that he had someone who wouldn't just leave him, seemed to be trying to find the limits of what he'd take.

So far, he hadn't hit that limit.

"Dan? You okay?" Holly, bent over the hood of the car with her panties, shorts, and stockings down around her thighs, looked at him in the dimness.

She looked concerned, although it was hard to tell - the light was that bad.

Fucking in a place they shouldn't have been, while Holly was wearing so much flashy clothing, was probably a bad idea.

Dan blinked, and he looked at her and smiled, sheepish.

"Sorry," he said, catching her eye. He nudged his cock against her ass, and she squirmed, grinding back against him. "Got distracted."

"Yeah? Am I not interesting enough for you?" She grabbed his cock, pressing it between her legs, the head right against her hard little clit.

"You're... mmm... fuck! Holly, you're incredibly interesting," Dan said, his voice earnest. "You're the most interesting thing I've ever had."

"I'm a thing now, huh?" There was a pout in her voice, although he couldn't see her face.

He wished he could see her face.

"I, uh... that's not what I meant," Dan said, withdrawing his dick. It nudged between the cheeks of her ass, as he draped himself across her back to kiss and nuzzle along her cheek.

"I know," Holly said, and she rubbed her cheek against his, getting white makeup on it. "I was busting your balls."

"If you wanna bust my balls, that'd require... like, a lot more negotiation," Dan said quickly. "I mean, uh, if you really want to do it, you totally can, but, uh...."

"Oh my god, Dan," Holly said, and she was laughing, covering her mouth with one hand.

Dan didn't see why. The parking lot was pretty damn empty.

"So you don't want to bust my balls," he said, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

... wow, he was stupid on arousal. Like, really stupid. Maybe it was a contact high from all the weed smokers and generally overexcited youth in the theater.

"I want you to stick your dick in me, before some cop pulls up and we end up on the local news about how the local internet celebrities got caught fucking in a parking lot."

"... point," said Dan. He felt her hole against the tip of his cock, and he pushed.

Holly yelped, and she jerked away from him, rolling onto her back, baring her tits and her pussy to the world, both hands going to cradle her butt.

"Wrong hole," she choked out. "Ow. Holy crap, ow."

"Oh god," Dan said, guilt settling into his stomach like a ball of hot aluminium. "I'm so sorry, holy shit. I am so sorry."

Holly started to giggle, letting go of her butt to grab for Dan's hair and kiss him.

"When was the last time you did that?" Her mouth was right in his ear, and it was raising goosebumps along the back of his neck.

"I was... much younger," he told her, "and the lighting was better."

"How did you miss when the light was better?!" Holly hooked her legs around his hips, then paused. "How clean is your dick?"

"How clean is your butt?" Dan countered, then sobered up. "I didn't, uh... I think maybe the tip of the head got in?"

"I'm gonna trust you on this," Holly told him, spreading her legs wider. "If I get a yeast infection, you -"

"I'll supply the garlic cloves," Dan agreed.

"... what?" Holly wrinkled her nose.

Dan looked down at his own flagging erection. It was hard to keep a boner when someone was talking about yeast infections.

"Can we talk about this some other time?" Dan said. "Or, like, if we're gonna talk about it now, can I pull my pants back up?"

"You are an odd one," Holly told him, reaching down between them to squeeze his cock, thumbing the head.

"I do my best," Dan said, smiling at her nervously.

"You're lucky you're so cute," Holly told him seriously, as she pumped her fist, spreading his pre-cum even further along his cock.

"I knew you just kept me around for my looks," Dan said, pressing close to her again, until his cock was fully hard and nudging at her labia. "You just wanted another pretty face."

"So you think Ross is pretty, huh?" Holly opened her labia with two fingers, and Dan used his own hand to guide himself into her, sliding home in one smooth stroke.

"Next question," Dan said quickly, drawing nearly all the way out again, before sliding back home.

"Fuck," Holly gasped, her hips rolling up to meet him. She looked up into his eyes, and then she started to giggle again, fluttering around him.

"What? What's so funny?" Dan pushed her bustier down again, just enough to bare her nipples. On her back like this, the lapels of her jacket fanned out like wings. Her sparkly top hat was still resting on top of the car.

It was in character, at least!

"You've... you don't really have the pickup truck, or the devil's eyes," Holly told Dan, thrusting up into him, her hand staying on her labia, rubbing her clit.

Dan snorted, hilting himself inside of her and just rolling his hips, hopefully rubbing against her g-spot.

"I could give you an evil wink?" He offered, and then he made a surprised noise, as she grabbed him by the hair and kissed him, getting her makeup on his face, humping against him as she got herself off.

It was a bit like being a living, breathing dildo.

He wasn't going to complain.

Holly in pleasure - especially taking her pleasure directly from something - was, quite possibly, one of his favorite things in life.

She was just so... so....

"Fuck, pigeon, how are you so amazing?" Dan nuzzled into neck, then nipped it with just enough force to make her whine, his hands going to her hips, pulling her closer to him, lifting her ass off of the hood of the car, because she needed to be closer to him, chest to chest, body to body, as close together as two bodies can be, without getting down to the molecular level.

“You say that to all the girls… sorry, all the people you’re balls deep in,” Holly said, laughing roughly. She was getting tighter as her orgasm drew closer, and he kissed her again, her giggles making his teeth vibrate, sending little puffs of air against his upper lip.

“W-w-why the… the… correction?” Dan paused, his cock twitching inside of her.

“Well, I mean, you regularly kiss my husband,” Holly said, and she arched off of the car even further, her pussy clamping down on Dan as she came, because he had been rubbing her clit the whole down, and it appeared that the damn orgasm had snuck up and hit her like a sock full of batteries.

Dan came inside of her, his whole body shaking, from the chill air (how was he just noticing the chilliness?) and the orgasm twitching through him, leaning him drained, flopped on top of her.

“We really need to stop fucking with me standing up,” Dan mumbled into her ear, kissing her jugular gently. “This cannot be good for my knees.”

“Do leg lifts. It’ll fix ‘em,” said Holly, and she looked down at herself and made a face. “I’m gonna get jizz on my stockings.”

“I’ll get you a new pair of stockings,” Dan promised.

“Aren’t you a high roller,” Holly said, wincing as Dan pulled out. “Let’s go home. I wanna wash all this makeup off.”

Dan shoved his cock back into his pants, helping Holly arrange herself. He even sacrificed his shirt for her to… wipe off, sitting in the car in just the leather vest.

“So are we gonna come back here?” Holly leaned back against the seat, closing her eyes and yawning.

“Would you wanna?” Dan started the car.

“... could be fun,” Holly said.  
* * *

A new song was beginning to take form in Dan’s head. It had a throbbing bassline, and a tune that buzzed through him, making his teeth itch.

It showed up as he was driving them home from Rocky Horror, and it seemed to come from nowhere.

He’d have to turn that into something. When a song was that insistent, it meant it wanted to really be written, and would bug him until then.

* * *

"Holly, why are you lying in the middle of my bed?" Dan poked his head around the door of his bedroom.

"Because it smells like you," said Holly, still curled up in a ball in the middle of Dan's huge bed. It was dim enough that he couldn't see much, except her head poking out from Ross's big sweater. "Anyway, it's half my bed, since I sleep here half the time."

"Why is something smelling like me so important?" He crawled into bed with her, wrapping his long arms around her, pulling her against his chest.

"Because I feel like crap," Holly said, cuddling up to him. "I hate having a uterus. It's not like I'm using it. Why does it have to do this to me?"

"I'm sorry," said Dan. "I can't really do much about it, but I can cuddle you for a little bit before I head to the office?"

"You're warm," Holly mumbled, tucking her head under his chin and holding on to him.

"Are you wearing my pajama pants?" Dan ran his fingers through her hair, relaxing into the bed.

"Yep," said Holly, yawning widely.

"Just, uh... try not to let them get too... you know, gross." He cleared his throat.

Holly rolled her eyes, nudging him in the back with her elbow.

"You have fingered me while I'm on my period," she pointed out.

"That's different." He rubbed her tummy, gently, and she made a noise. "Sorry."

"Can you cuddle me when ya get back from grumping?"

"I can try," said Dan. "I dunno when I'm getting back."

She went stiff in his arms, and he nuzzled into the back of her neck, kissing it gently, trying to get her to relax.

"Do you have, uh... do you have plans with Arin?"

"What, like... date plans? Not really." He put his hands on her hips, pulling her a bit closer to him, wrapping his legs around hers. "I mean, uh, maybe there'll be some making out or something... maybe? But I'm just staying late to finish the game we've been doing."

"Yeah?" She relaxed a bit, and sighed. "I'm sorry. That I'm like this, I mean. Like... jealous. I'm sorry"

"It's okay," said Dan. "I'm... I won't do anything you don't want me to do." He paused. "Is there anything you don't want me to do?"

"... can you keep me up to date on stuff?" She sniffed, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. "You know, if you do anything physical."

"You want me to call you before anything happens or something?"

"No, just... like, can you tell me if you touch his dick?" She sighed. "God, no, that sounds so... crude. I don't want to be controlling." She paused, trying to put her thoughts in order. "Do you want to touch Arin's dick?"

"I sort of do," said Dan. "I mean... I'm not entirely averse to the idea?"

"Okay," said Holly, and she sighed, relaxing. "Can you tell me that you love me?"

That was... unexpected. Usually strong displays of affection like that made Holly incredibly uncomfortable.

"I love you," said Dan. "I love you more than anyone in the world, than... anything. More than my music, or my hair, or... anything!"

"You love me more than your hair," Holly said flatly, and then she started laughing, covering her face with both hands. "Oh my god, Dan."

"What?" He kissed along her head, to her ear, and pressed a quiet one behind her ear.

"You absolutely suck at this," said Holly. "You're an amazing boyfriend, but you are bad at being, like, that kind of reassuring."

"I'm sorry," Dan said. "The brunt of my feelings for you are so huge that they fill up all of the places where I'd put words."

Holly snickered, pressing her face into his neck, and she kissed his adam's apple, where his scruff started.

"Have fun at your session," said Holly, patting him on the hip fondly. "If you guys are gonna fuck around, please don't get it on tape, or whoever is editing this week will leave it in for a joke."

"You think?"

"I know." She kissed Dan, then went back to curling up, as he disentangling himself. "But seriously... thanks." Her face was sweet, in the dimness of the room.

"And you're really okay with me going out with Arin? And, you know, playing with his dick. Maybe."

"I'm really okay with it," said Holly. "Just come home to me."

"I'll always come home to you," Dan promised, giving her one last kiss.

* * *

"Hey man," said Arin, when Dan walked in. He smiled, so bright that it made Dan's heart hurt a little bit. "You ready for a full day's work?"

"Let's do it," Dan said agreeably. He made a surprised noise, when Arin grabbed his butt, but nobody paid attention.

Arin was always grabby.

Things were pretty normal - Arin hinted at a "hot date," but things were... well, they made fart jokes, they made barf jokes, they got deep and introspective.

Okay, so they were closer together than usual. Arin's leg up against Dan's. Dan wasn't gonna complain.

Arin smelled nice - maybe he'd taken something for the incessant farting, which was a nice change. He was warm, and his hair caught the light, gilding his face.

Fuck, he was so pretty.

"You okay, man? You just trailed off." Arin shot Dan a Look.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine," said Dan. He wanted to kiss Arin. Like, desperately wanted to kiss Arin.

Was that a thing he could do? Kissing his boss at work? When they weren't at work, it was less... obvious that it was a boss employee relationship, but when they were here, it was a bit more... something?

"Dude," said Arin, and he snapped a finger in front of Dan's face. "Come back."

"Sorry," said Dan, shaking his head hard enough that his hair flapped. "Got, uh... distracted."

"Distracted by my totally hot bod, huh?"

"... something like that," Dan said, caught off guard.

“What, really?” Arin’s expression was almost panicked, then gleeful. “Can’t get enough of it, huh?”

“Yeah,” Dan said, and he tried to laugh it off. “Totally. Can’t get enough.” His hand went to Arin’s leg, and he squeezed.

Arin was wearing shorts, and his legs were so pale they almost glowed in the low light. A bit of his thigh was showing, and Dan’s thumb was just resting on it.

Arin looked down at his leg, then up at Dan’s face, his eyebrow raised.

Dan wasn’t sure why he did it, but he didn’t want to let go. Arin had surprisingly soft skin,

"Next time on Game Grumps, Dan stops being utterly transfixed by my sexy self so we can actually continue this game," said Arin, as they timer blinked at them.

Dan snorted, turning off the recording equipment and writing down times.

"So were you really?"

"Was I really what?"

"Were you really transfixed by my sexy self? Or were you just, like, spacing out? Reliving your old drug days or something like that?" Arin looked... surprisingly self conscious, like he was afraid of whatever it was that Dan was going to say.

"A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B," said Dan, blushing. "You're very... that is, uh...." Dan cleared his throat, and he groaned. "I'm sorry. I'm shit at this."

"Shit at what?"

"Shit at, like, complimenting dudes." He still had his hand on Arin's thigh, and he squeezed it, gently. He could feel Arin's muscles shifting under the skin.

Fuck, but Arin was built.

Dan had never... well, never been any kind of intimate with anyone that was that muscular. He wondered, faintly, what it would feel like, to be the smaller of a pair.

"Dude," said Arin. "You spaced out again. What's up with you?"

"I'm... thinking," Dan said, blushing and looking down at his hands. He was... he had an erection. How about that.

He had an actual erection, from his actual best friend.

"What are you thinking about?" Arin shot Dan a slightly concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." Dan took a deep breath, and he licked his lips. "Can I... would it be alright if I kissed you?"

"What, like right now?" Arin looked slightly taken aback.

"If you think it'd be inappropriate or anything, since we're on the job, I'd be okay with that," said Dan quickly. "If you'd like to keep it strictly professional, I'd understand, but - "

"I don't want to keep it strictly professional," said Arin. "I'd... well, there's nobody around, and I'd like to kiss you."

“Nobody is around? Huh. I guess it’s later than I thought it was.”

“Would it make you uncomfortable if there was someone around?"

"Well, kinda," said Dan.

"What, you're ashamed of kissing me?" Arin looked... defensive, his chin jutting out.

"No," Dan said quickly. "It just feels... you know, kinda wrong to be fucking around while we're on the job, you know?"

"It's late enough that I don't think it matters too much," said Arin. "But if you're uncomfortable or something?"

Dan leaned forward, so that his nose was almost touching Arin's.

"I'm... I'm good," said Dan, and his breath was making the little hairs of Arin's mustache rise and fall. He squeezed Arin's thigh again.

"Yeah? You're good? 'cause I'm... I'm pretty good." Arin swallowed thickly, his eyes dark.

Dan kissed Arin, pressing closer to him, lip to lip, mustache against scruff. He broke the kiss to breathe heavily, and then he leaned over, beginning to kiss him harder, pulling Arin closer to him, his hands on Arin's hips, then in Arin's hair, twisting it around and around his fingers.

Arin's hands were on Dan's shoulders, and then they were cupping Dan's face as they kissed deeper, as Arin pressed his tongue into Dan's mouth, swept across Dan's teeth, as his hands moved from Dan's face to Dan's arms to Dan's sides, almost ticklish, grabbing on to Dan's t-shirt in great handfuls.

"Dude," Arin mumbled against Dan's lips. "Dude, you are a really good kisser."

"Am I now?" Dan began to kiss along Arin's neck, cautiously. He wasn't used to there being hair under his lips.

"I should've believed you," said Arin. "But...."

"But?"

"Don't mind if I do," said Arin, and he was... sliding his hands down the back of Dan's pants, holy shit.

"Oh my god, you did not just make that transition."

"What transition?"

"You know, like... sentence transition? Wow, your hands are big."

"You've never had your ass grabbed by someone with big hands?"

"Well, not as big as yours."

"You're impressed by my big hands, huh?"

"I'm... I do like them," Dan stuttered, licking his lips.

"Yeah?" Arin grabbed Dan by the hips and pulled him right into his lap, santa style.

"Um!" Dan looked down, startled. "How the fuck did you do that?!"

"You weigh, like, nothing," said Arin dismissively. He kept his hands on Dan's ass, squeezing it.

"You're, uh... first person I've ever made out with that could do that," said Dan, and then Arin was pulling on him again, kissing him with so much heat it almost burned.

This wasn't just a casual couch make out. There was... there was history behind those kisses. Complicated, uncomfortable history that Dan was hesitant to poke.

Anyway, he had Arin’s soft, hot, wet mouth against his own, Arin’s big hands on his hips, Arin’s big, warm body.

It was utterly different from kissing Holly - the sheer bulk of Arin was enough to make it different. And it was different from kissing Ross as well - Ross didn’t have any of the desperate urgency that seemed to verge on panic.

Dan pulled back, panting, and he rested his forehead against Arin’s, panting like he’d been running. Arin’s hair was sweaty under his fingers, and Arin’s breath was hot and steamy against his face, and Arin’s eyes were dark with lust and overbright with what might have been tears.

Okay. So this was getting a bit overwhelming.

“Are you okay?” Dan asked cautiously.

“Of course I’m okay,” said Arin. “Why wouldn’t I be okay? Everything is great!” He grabbed one of Dan’s legs. “Would you, like, straddle me?”

“... sure?”

There was a minute of rearranging, as Dan tried to bring his leg around and also not knock Arin in the chin with his knee.

It was weird, to be straddling someone like this. To be basically dick to dick with another dude. To be balanced, a bit unsteadily, on someone else’s thighs.

At least he had ample space to rest his ass, although Arin’s dick was nudging against him through Arin’s harem pants.

It felt… well, through Arin’s underwear, and Arin’s pants, and Dan’s jeans, it felt pretty hefty.

Heavy. Thick.

“Jesus, Arin,” Dan said, breathless. He had a boner himself, and it was pressed against Arin’s stomach, through Dan’s jeans.

“What?” Arin blushed, looking to the side, and Dan tugged on his hair, forcing them to look eye to eye.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dan licked his lips. Arin’s mouth looked… quite kissable, his lips swollen, his pink tongue darting out.

“Yeah,” said Arin. “Just, uh, you know, it’s been… I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

“Yeah?” Dan wasn’t exactly surprised. “Well, uh, I hope that I’m living up to the dream.”

“You so are,” said Arin, with the kind of sincerity that could sink a battleship. “You most definitely are.”

Dan looked down this time, blushing harder.

This was… was this what Holly felt like, when he held his own emotions out to her?

No wonder she got so squirmy.

“So,” said Dan, and he cleared his throat. “Do you wanna keep making out?”

“Yeah,” said Arin. “I’d like that. But, uh… I think I might, like, jizz in my pants if we keep this up.” He bit his lip, clearly trying to think straight. “Would it be too weird if I jerked off while you kissed me?” He brightened. “Or I could blow you?”

“I think I’d be good with you, uh, with you jerking off,” said Dan, and he swallowed thickly. “I’m… you can blow me another time.”

“You sure?” Arin took Dan’s hand, and he was… sucking on Dan’s finger, taking the tip of Dan’s middle finger into his mouth and swirling his tongue along it, then sucking on the finger itself, taking it deep enough that Dan would have gagged.

“Y-yeah,” said Dan, shakily.

“Fair enough,” said Arin. He kissed the tip of Dan’s finger, and he then he kissed Dan on the mouth, while his hand went between his legs, pausing to grope Dan’s ass, then sliding into his pants, jerking his cock under his pants, through his underwear.

Dan could feel the rise and fall of Arin’s fist, and Arin’s kisses were getting needier, his hips beginning to rock up against Dan.

And then Arin’s head tilted back, and he broke the kiss, panting up at the ceiling, shaking with the intensity of his orgasm.

Yeah, it was an orgasm. Dan could feel the heat of it, even through the pajama pants and the denim. To say nothing of Arin’s expression.

Arin’s face looked fucking amazing when he came, and that wasn’t something that Dan had expected.

“Fuck,” Arin mumbled, and he pressed his sweaty face into Dan’s neck, panting. “Fuck, dude, that was… fuck.” He smiled up at Dan, sheepish. “I usually last longer than that, I promise.”

Dan snickered, and he kissed Arin again, because he could - because Arin was warm and soft and welcoming, and because something in his chest was blossoming like a flower. It was nice enough that he wasn’t even gonna panic.

* * *

That new goddamn song was hammering at his nerves, as he walked to his car, got in, made his way home.

He pretty much had the tune now, at least. If only it would stop sneaking into his head at random moments.

* * *

“You smell like a locker room,” Holly mumbled, when Dan flopped onto the bed next to her.

“What does a locker room smell like?” Dan nuzzled into her neck, taking in the warm, soapy scent of her skin.

“Like dude sweat,” said Holly. She shoved him vaguely in the side, as he octopus cuddled her, not even bothering to take his pants off.

It had been a long Grump session. Even the make outs with Arin - during one of their sanctioned breaks, not even on the clock - hadn’t eased the burden.

Although that was probably why he smelled. Arin tended to… sweat, when he was excited.

“You’re warm,” Dan mumbled into her skin. “You’re warm and you smell nice.”

“I’ll kick you outta bed,” Holly said, her voice sleepy. “I will. You’re stinky.”

“You sure it isn’t Orph?” Dan kissed her, right under her ear.

“You smell like Arin,” Holly said, finally waking up enough for her thoughts to be in order. “Were you guys messing around?”

“Just some sloppy makeouts,” Dan said, his hand sliding under her shirt to rest on her belly.

“Tell Arin he needs better deodorant,” Holly murmured. “And you need to take a shower.”

“Or what?”

Her skin was so soft under his fingers, and her belly was warm.

Her foot was very hard against his leg, though

“Or I’ll kick you outta bed,” said Holly. Her foot moved up, to his thigh.

“If you go much higher,” Dan murmured, letting go of her and flopping onto his back, “you’ll get me in the nuts. You don’t wanna damage Excalibur, do ya? You like him.”

“I like all of you,” said Holly. “Please go shower.”

“Alright, alright,” Dan mumbled, not even bothering to turn the light on, just flinging his clothes off every which way and shuffling towards the bathroom.

He’d been in here often enough that he didn’t have to turn the light on - he knew where his towel was, where the shampoo, the soap, how to get the water to the temperature he wanted it at.

He stood under the water in the darkness, letting the steam rush over him like a wave, the heat sinking into his bones.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the second pair of hands came out of nowhere, wrapping around his middle.

“I should’ve been nicer about that,” said Holly.

“I’m not a baby,” Dan said. “You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves.”

“Yeah,” said Holly, “but still. It’d be kinda hypocritical to tell you off or being a bit messy with your partner, considering the whole… lipstick thing.”

Dan snorted.

“At least lipstick doesn’t smell bad,” he said, and he draped his arms over her shoulders, resting his chin on her head.

“I dunno,” said Holly. “It can rot.”

“What, really?” Dan looked down at her in the darkness, catching a bit of light reflecting from the window.

“Anything can rot,” said Holly.

“... that’s grim,” said Dan. He leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, but she turned her face up, towards the water, and pressed her mouth against his.

She tasted sweet, warm, like breath and steam and life. She twined her fingers through his hair, and she pressed her naked body against his.

“I’m not used to you smelling like other people,” she said quietly, against his lips.

“It’s at least partially like the Grump room,” he told her.

“Still. You weren’t a jerk about the lipstick, and that was a lot more blatant.” She began to soap across his chest.

“Okay,” said Dan. “Apology accepted.” He kissed her again, as the water fell down around their heads in the darkness.

When they got back in bed, she cuddled right up to him, her nose in the hollow of his collarbone.

* * *

“Would you guys ever wanna have another threesome?” Dan kept his tone light, mellow, chill. He'd brought it up to Holly, lo that Rocky Horror night the month before.

Oh, hey, guys, we need more oranges. What would you like to do this weekend? Would you ever wanna have another threesome?

“Sure,” said Holly. “I had fun!”

“I was… thinking a different kind of threesome.” Dan cleared his throat. He put his hands behind his head, stared up at the ceiling and sighed.

Now was the moment of truth.

“Ever heard of spitroasting?”

“I know it’s hard to do with vegetables,” said Holly, as she cuddled Mojo to her chest, kissing the top of the cat’s head.

“... what?”

“What what?”

“I’m talking about the sex move,” said Dan.

“Oh,” said Holly, blinking. “I thought you meant the cooking technique.”

“Why would he bring up the cooking technique, right after talking about a threesome?” Ross had Orph in his lap, and was scratching the cat around the ears.

“I don’t know. Dan’s brain doesn’t work like our brains do.” Holly kissed Mojo’s head again, as the cat rubbed against her chin.

“Gee, thanks,” said Dan.

“So you want to spit roast Holly?” Ross was grinning. “Who gets which end is my question…”

“Way to make me feel like an active participant,’ Holly grumbled, putting the cat down.

“I’m thinking more, uh….” Dan cleared his throat. “Someone else would be the… roast-ee.”

“I’m not interested in anything going in my butt,” Ross said quickly. “Or my dick,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

“I wasn’t thinking about you,” said Dan. “Well, I mean, uh… I wasn’t thinking about you… on the spit.”

“Dan,” said Holly, “do you want to get spit roasted?” She was using her flirting voice, and Dan blushed.

“That’d, uh.. That’d be fun,” said Dan. “If you guys… were interested, I mean.”

“Who gets the booty?” Ross looked a lot more interested than Dan thought he would be.

“Why must you call it that?” Dan groaned.

“Because I can,” said Ross, “and it makes you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make that face.”

“Boys,” said Holly. “Behave. Or no threesome for either of you.”

“Oh my god,” said Dan, and he burst out laughing, bent sideways, his forehead against the table. “Fucking… what am I gonna do with you guys?”

“Bend over,” said Holly, in a voice that made him shiver.

Dan looked up, and she was smiling in such a way as to wake up Excalibur.

As if she could smile any other way.

“I… Ross, I’ve never sucked a real dick. Can I suck your dick?”

“Sure,” said Ross, casual. “Let’s do it.”

“What, really?”

“Really.”

“Does that mean I get to peg you again?”

“Totally,” said Dan. “Sure. My ass is yours.”

“I knew that already,” said Holly, “but it’s nice to know.” She grinned, and Dan sighed, his cock pressing right up against his zipper.

“Let’s take your oral virginity,” said Ross, rubbing his hands together.

“One question,” Holly said. “Would, uh… is this because of Arin?”

“Why do you ask?” Why was Dan’s stomach dropping like that?

What the heck?

“You weren’t interested in this kinda thing… well, before you got together with Arin,” said Holly carefully. “I don’t… I don’t want you to think of doing stuff with us as… practice with Arin.”

“No,” said Dan. “I mean… maybe I’m a bit more open minded, but it’s not just because of Arin.”

Was he… offended? He wasn’t entirely sure.

“I’m sorry,” Holly said, and she reached out for him.

He took her hands, kissing her knuckles, and she squeezed his.

Ross put his hand on Dan’s leg, and Dan looked down at it. Then he leaned over, and he kissed Ross, gently, right on the lips.

“It’s okay,” said Dan. “It’s okay.”

* * *

Of course, the threesome didn’t happen right away.

Well, no “of course,” since their last one had seemed to happen pretty quickly, but still.

Everyone was busy.

Holly was gearing up for a con, there was gonna be another Grump tour, which meant more episodes.

Also more making out in the Grump office, although that didn’t aid the busyness in one direction or the other.

But mainly, the three of them weren’t at home at the same time while still being awake enough to want to have sex.

Until they were.

* * *

“Why do you make me do that every time you wanna stick stuff in my butt?” Dan, clean as a whistle inside and out, was being straddled by Holly, with Ross right next to him.

Holly’s cock was pressed against his belly, and Ross’s cock was pressed against his thigh.

There were, overall, just a lot more cock in direct contact with him these days.

He was pretty sure he was okay with that.

Admittedly, Holly’s was the only rainbow one.

“Because you take a shit, like, twice a week,” said Ross.

“I wasn’t asking you,” Dan mumbled. “And that’s fuckin’ gross. Let’s not talk about poop right now.”

“Maybe if you ate more vegetables,” said Holly.

“I eat plenty of vegetables,” Dan said, indignant.

“At least he doesn’t have a cabbage problem,” said Ross, giving Holly a Look.

“I feel like we’re going off track,” said Holly quickly, and she leaned down, kissing Dan, her fingers tangled in his hair, her other hand on Ross’s thigh.

“What, because we’re talking about bowel health?” Ross put on a lecturing tone. “Listen, just because you - “

“I’m gonna lose my boner,” Dan said.

“I’m gonna lose my boner,” said Holly.

“Not possible,” Ross pointed out, reaching over to squeeze her rainbow cock.

“It is if I get grossed out enough,” said Holly.

Dan kissed her.

It was the best way to end the discussion.

* * *

It was all so… quiet.

Ross, for all that he was a pain in the ass sadist in the day to day, was a surprisingly quiet lover.

Holly moaned and sighed against Dan’s mouth, against Ross’s. Her hands were in his hair, and she was grinding against his belly.

Her breasts were soft, and Ross’s hands were bony as they roamed over his chest, and it was all… it was….

“You guys are intense,” Dan mumbled against one pair of lips. He wasn’t even sure whose it was, because his eyes were half closed.

“Says the guy who’s done god knows what,” said Ross, and oh wow, when had his hand gotten under Dan’s shirt?

“What do you mean, god knows what?” Dan’s hand was going up Ross’s leg, and he could feel the heat radiating off of Ross’s dick.

“I don’t know,” Ross said, and he moaned, because Dan’s hand was wrapped around his dick.

Ross felt different from Arin.

Well, of course. Ross was smaller, he smelled different, he tasted different.

Dan had a moment to ponder the fact that he was getting well acquainted enough with other people’s dicks to compare them.

But he was kissing the love of his life, and Ross was warm and cuddly, his hand going to Dan’s ass.

* * *

Time went fluid.

Time went fluid and wobbly, and when things condensed again, Dan was lying on his belly on the bed, between Ross’s spread legs.

He was nuzzling Ross’s thighs, and Ross had lost his pants as some point, and his cock was hard and hot in his boxers. He made little noises when Dan breathed across the wet head.

Holly’s fingers were in Dan’s butt, and that was… it was almost familiar - they’d done it a few times, and he’d even been venturing (cautiously) into that territory himself, so it wasn’t too odd.

Dan began to kiss along Ross’s thigh, and the skin was soft and warm under his mouth - it wasn’t that different from Holly, actually.

Well, no, it smelled different.

Less musky.

Or maybe a different kind of musky?

At least, less salty.

Which was pretty funny, considering whose crotch he was pressing his face into.

“... Dan? What are you snickering about? My balls can’t be that funny.”

“Oh my god, Ross,” Dan groaned, and he pressed his forehead against Ross’s thigh.

“What? You’re just sitting there snickering to yourself and humping the bed.”

“Maybe it’s because someone,” Dan cast a look over his shoulder, “has their fingers up my ass.”

“So that’s making you laugh?” Ross’s hand was on Dan’s head, tangling in his hair. He wasn’t pushing him, just… resting it there. “Is being buttfucked that ticklish, Holly?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Holly said, and she was crooking her fingers against Dan’s prostate which was making Dan full on hump the bed like he was a teenager having a wet dream. “I’ve never been butt fucked.”

“Haven’t you had, like, fingers up your butt?”

“Well, yeah,” said Holly, and Dan could actually hear her blushing. “But, uh… it’s not ticklish.”

“So why are you laughing?” Ross looked down at Dan, making eye contact and raising an eyebrow.

Dan kept giggling, crawling a little closer so that his nose was pressed against Ross’s shaft.

He took a deep breath, then opened his mouth, lipping along Ross’s shaft, then lower, to nuzzle at his balls.

Ross sighed, relaxing, and Holly’s gentle prodding was taking on a more… focused bent, and his cock was beginning to twitch against the bed, leaking onto the sheets.

Ross’s cock was warm and solid against Dan’s face, and the tip of it was damp, right up against Dan’s cheek.

“You’re so horny,” said Dan, and he was teasing.

“Yeah,” said Ross, deadpan. “My totally hot sorta-kinda boyfriend… something or other is being pigeonholed by my totally hot wife.”

Dan pulled back, and looked up at Ross with a disbelieving expression.

Holly’s fingers went still as well, although they were still inside of him.

“... pigeonholed?” Dan was going to ignore the “sorta-kinda” boyfriend comment, because… this was not gonna be a thing he was going to talk about right now.

Because no.

“You know. Because you call her pigeon. And she’s in your hole.”

Dan bit Ross on the thigh.

“Ouch!” Ross shoved at Dan, which forced Holly’s fingers deeper inside of him, which made Dan’s eyes roll back in his head and his arms get wobbly.

“Ross,” Dan said, finally losing patience, “just… put your dick in my mouth, before I lose patience.”

“Work, work, work,” grumbled Ross, but he pulled his cock out. It nudged at Dan’s lower lip, and he whimpered when Dan licked the tip of it.

So another dude’s pre-cum tasted… bitter. Salty and bitter.

… a little bit like pussy, actually, and that was unexpected.

Although it would make sense. Same kind of valves and whatnot.

Welp.

Time to bite the bullet.

So to speak.

Dan took the head of Ross’s dick into his mouth, and he… held it there.

It was smooth, it was bitter and salty, it was warm.

It didn’t feel like anything but itself.

If he had managed to suck himself off those years ago, would he have been able to compare it to this?

Probably not, although there was always the sensation of having something in your mouth and having something on your dick, and that would be….

Ross tugged gently on his hair.

“You okay?” His voice was quiet. “If you’re not up for this, that’s okay.”

Dan shook his head, and he scooted a little closer, taking more of Ross’s cock into his mouth. He had his neck at an odd angle, and the head of Ross’s cock was right against the roof of his mouth.

Okay, that was kind of unpleasant.

He angled his mouth a bit differently, and he took in more, swallowing it deeper, until he it was pressed against the back of his throat.

At which point he threw up.

He wasn’t expecting to - he didn’t think of himself as having an especially sensitive gag reflex.

But, well… there was a good deal of… stuff, puddled in Ross’s groin, and Dan was pulling back, his nose and his throat burning, still coughing.

“Oh god, Dan, are you okay?” Holly’s fingers were out of his ass, and they were on his face as she pulled him upright, and that was a bit unpleasant and didn’t smell too nice, but he was grateful nonetheless.

Ross’s hand was covering Holly’s, and he was meeting Dan’s eyes.

“That was fuckin’ gross, man,” said Ross, in a conversational tone of voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” said Dan, and he was panting. “I think, uh… I think that triggered my gag reflex.”

“It kinda killed my bone,” said Ross, and indeed, his dick was going soft under Dan’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Dan said, and he made a face. His mouth tasted like… well, best not dwell on that.

He was gross. He was very gross.

So why was Holly nuzzling up to his neck? And why was Ross looking up at him with those big blue eyes full of sympathy?

“How about we go shower?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Dan, looking down.

“Dude,” said Ross, as Holly pressed kisses along Dan’s shoulders, “It’s okay. It really is.” He laughed, a bit nervously. “The first time I gave Morgan oral sex, I got so anxious I passed out.”

“No way,” said Dan, and he laughed in spite of himself.

“Yeah,” said Ross, looking sheepish. He… couldn’t move. He was more or less pinned in place, because otherwise the vomit would get on the bed. “I haven’t been with… well, anyone, since I got together with Holly, other than Holly, and I got so overwhelmed that I just passed out on their thigh.”

“Morgan called me,” Holly added. “It was… pretty funny, actually.” She pressed a final kiss to the back of Dan’s neck, and then she crawled off of him.

There was a rush of cold air, as Holly got off of him, and then there was what felt like a baby wipe against his face, and rubbing along Ross’s tummy.

“We’re gonna have to change the sheets,” said Holly, in a regretful tone of voice. “Oh well.” She sighed. “How about you two go take a shower, then I’ll shower, then we can all watch a movie.” She looked down at her strapon regretfully. “He’ll just have to have a go another time.”

“It’s a he now?”

“You’re not allowed to judge,” said Holly, looking pointedly at Excalibur.

Dan stuck his tongue out.

Holly stuck hers back at him.

Despite the horrible taste in his mouth, and the humiliation curling in his gut, Dan was… at peace.

Which was strange, considering he’d just thrown up on a guy who he kissed regularly.

Was this was “relationship security” felt like?”

* * *

A few days later, Dan was drowsing on the couch. He had his whole body wrapped around Holly like an octopus, and he was breathing in her scent, taking in the warmth of her.

In his dream, he was facing her.

She looked different, and it took him a minute to realize what it was - she was… rounder. Her belly stuck out, her breasts were fuller, her cheeks were plumper.

And there was champagne.

So much champagne, dripping down Holly’s shoulders, across her breasts, her belly, her thighs.

Dan pressed his face into the fullness of her breasts, sucking and licking at them, and the dry, effervescent taste of it filled his whole head up, the bubbles going straight to his whole body, leaving him lightheaded, as he took her nipples into his mouth, and there was more champagne, coming out of her, and that was… that was odd, but she was so warm and she smelled so nice, and when he pressed closer to her, whatever was in her belly pressed against him too, and his cock was against the swell of her belly, and she was… she was….

“Dan?”

* * *

Dan jolted awake, and his hands went to Holly’s belly, which was… it was flat.

So it had been a dream.

Relief slammed into him like a semi truck, and so did regret, and he wasn’t sure which one upset him more.

But that didn’t matter, because Holly was right there, and she was moaning and grinding her ass against his crotch.

“Baby,” Dan groaned, and he was full on grinding against her ass, full on dry humping his ass. “Fuck, Holly, baby, darling, sweetie, pigeon, please… fuckin’... please, please!”

“You’re not usually this horny,” Holly said, and her ass was so soft, so firm, so plump, he could just lie here and grind for hours….

“Good dream,” Dan mumbled, and he moved up, cupping her breast in his hand. He squeezed it, and nothing came out of it, which made sense, but he was still groggy enough that a stab of confusion hit him.

“What were you dreaming about?” Holly was shoving her pajama pants down, hooking one of her legs around his.

“Champagne,” Dan said, because going into the details of the… other bits of the dream was a bit too painful. Too complicated.

“Yeah?” Holly was panting, as Dan shoved his own pants down, grinding Excalibur against her pussy. “Must have been some champagne….”

Dan scooted lower, grabbing her leg and holding it up, his other hand guiding his cock right into her hole.

“It was fucking amazing,” Dan murmured into her ear, as he pushed himself in, fully seated.

“Oh!” Holly clenched down on him, squirming and panting.

He reached down, letting go of her leg and letting it rest on his own, so that he could rub on her clit as he thrust into her, quick, desperate snaps of his hips.

He rolled her clit under his thumb, panting in her ear, almost sobbing as he just fucked her, deep and hard, deeper than usual, even.

She was clenching around him, hot and wet, slippery around his cock, and it was almost too much, to feel her all around him like this, to have her so close to him, breathing in the soft scent of her hair, her sweat as she trembled against him.

He came in no time flat, pushing into her, flailing, and he kept rubbing her clit, until she pushed his hand away.

“Do you not want an orgasm?” Dan pressed a kiss right behind her ear, squeezing her breast in his other hand, then letting go.

“I do, I do,” Holly said, licking her lips. “Just, uh… that’s not working.”

“Sit on my face,” Dan said.

“What?” Holly looked surprised, when she craned her neck to look him in the face. “I’m, uh… a bit drippy.”

“I don’t care,” Dan said. “Please?”

“Well… okay,” Holly said, “since you’re so… insistent.”

There was more shuffling, as Holly sat on Dan’s chest, the lips of her pussy against his chin.

“There we go,” said Dan, and okay, so maybe there was some cum dribbling down onto his shirt, but who cared?

He put his hands on her butt, pulling her forward, and she finally straddled his face, her hands on the back of the couch, and then she was resting her weight on his face, and he was licking her, sucking the cum out of her, his tongue wriggling inside of her, as she just rode his face.

“Fuck,” Holly groaned, “fuck, please, please, please, Dan, oh my god… fuck… that feels… so…. Fuck… please!”

She came wetly across his face, in waves and waves, until she went limp, flopping back against the couch.

“Holy shit,” Holly said, getting off of his face. “That was… mm… fuck.”

Dan chuckled, breathless, his whole face wet and sticky.

“So I performed satisfactorily?”

“I’ll put it on your review,” said Holly, and she squirmed lower down, so she could kiss him on the mouth.

“Good to know.” Dan said, cuddling her to his chest.

“You’re getting cum in my hair, aren’t you?” Holly nuzzled into his chest.

“Yep,” said Dan.

“You’re only getting away with this because you made me cum,” Holly murmured.

“Because you’re the cause in the first place,” said Dan.

“Hmph,” said Holly, snuggling closer.

Dan started to hum, that song that has been buzzing through his head. It had a bassline that throbbed like a migraine , and he was starting to form the lyrics.

“What's that?” Holly peered up at him, her face sleepy.

“Don't worry about it,” Dan said, kissing her forehead. “I'll tell ya later.”

“As long ass I'm in the loop….”

“You will be, I promise.”

* * *

Arin nudged Dan in the side, as Dan laughed harder and harder.

“Next time on Game Grumps,” Arin said, over Dan’s cackling, “maybe we can get some actual shit done here!”

Dan was still laughing, his face pressed into his arms, which were resting on his knees. He was still panting when he sat up, and Arin was looking at him with a sly expression.

“We’ve got, like, twenty minutes,” said Arin. “You know what we can do for twenty minutes?”

“I dunno, Arin,” said Dan, and he sat back, grinning himself.

"Well," said Arin, "I'm sure that you're creative enough to figure this shit out." He was inching closer to Dan, until their knees were touching.

Dan was still giggling when Arin leaned in to kiss him, and he was laughing against Arin's mouth, as Arin's tongue slid into his mouth, as his lips pressed against Arin's.

Arin was so...warm. He was so big, too - bigger than anyone Dan had ever kissed before. He was pressing closer, cradling Dan's face in his big hands, and he was tilting his head this way and that, pulling Dan's tongue deeper into his mouth.

things got hot and heavy. The kind of hot and heavy where Arin was sitting on Dan's lap, and Dan was grinding against Arin's ass, with Arin's hands on Dan's chest, pinching his nipples, Arin's lips and teeth nipping gently along Dan's neck.

The arousal was flooding through him like a tide, thundering in his ears, leaving him shaking, panting, desperate and the kind of horny that he associated with late, drunk nights.

"Arin," Dan mumbled, right into Arin's ear. "Arin, Arin, I wanna suck your dick."

Arin pulled back, his cheeks pink, sweat sticking to his hair.

"What?"

"I wanna suck your dick," Dan said, reckless. "Please. You've... we've jerked off, you've made out with me, nobody is around, please, can I please suck your dick, please?"

Okay.

So he wanted to prove that he could do it.

And he might have been practicing on Holly's strap on, so that he was a lot less likely to throw up on whoever he was giving a blowjob to.

But mainly, he just wanted to make Arin cum. Like, really make him cum, make him feel good. Because Arin looked fucking amazing when he came, and Dan... right now, Dan just had to see it, more than anything else.

"You wanna suck my dick?" Arin ground his hips, pressing his cock against Dan's tummy through his pants, through Dan's shirt. "You wanna feel this?"

"I do," Dan mumbled. "I do. Like, a lot."

"Why?" Arin pulled back, eye to eye. "I know you were kinda... cagey about gay shit, and I don't want you to feel like you have to do gay shit just because, you know... I wanna do gay shit. If you're not into gay shit, you don't have to."

"Arin," Dan said, pressing his forehead against Arin's, "I've sucked dick before."

"What, really?" Arin looked surprised, and... disappointed? That was unexpected. "I was hoping I'd be your first."

"I mean, I threw up on his stomach, so I feel like I can't really call it a real thing?"

"Who was it you covered in vom?"

"... Ross," said Dan, looking embarrassed.

"So you've gotten past kissing him to doing shit with his dick?"

"Well, I've done stuff with his dick before. And Holly was fucking my butt at the same time."

"Oh," said Arin, and he smiled, looking guilty. "Do you want to... do you want to do stuff with me? That kinda stuff, I mean."

"I wouldn't offer it if I didn't want to," said Dan, and he prodded Arin in the side.

"Okay, okay," said Arin. He squirmed, and his cock was still pressing against Dan's ass. "Please. While I'm young."

"You're not gonna be young much longer," Dan murmured, and he climbed off of the couch, crouching between Arin's spread legs.

He pressed his face into Arin's thigh, kissing towards the damp head of his cock through the thin fabric of Arin's pajamas.

Right.

He'd practiced this.

He glanced up, and saw that Arin was staring at him with an intense expression, one hand covering his own mouth.

"You ready to have your fuckin' world rocked?" Dan grabbed the waistband of Arin's pajama pants, shoving them down around his thighs.

There was Arin's dick, curving down, bobbing slightly with Arin's breathing, glistening at the tip.

Dan kept eye contact with Arin as he leaned forward, and he took the head of Arin's cock into his mouth.

It was thicker than Ross's, and it was... it was salty.

He sucked on it, his cheeks hollowing out, his lips dragging across Arin's shaft, and then he dragged his teeth, oh so delicately.

Arin swore, pounding on arm of the chair, and he rocked his hips forward, pressing a little deeper into Dan's mouth.

Dan wrapped a hand around the shaft, to keep it from going all the way down his throat, and he jerked it off clumsily, beginning to bob his head a bit, still sucking.

Arin's hand rested on the top of his head like a weight, and he sighed, closing his eyes and taking Arin a bit deeper.

Arin gasped, and his hips twitched again, as Dan began to use his tongue, sloppy and wet, drooling down his chin as he began to bob his head.

"Fuck, Dan, you're... fuckin' decent at this."

Dan pulled back, and he gave Dan a Look.

"Really?"

"Really what?!"

"'Decent' is the best you could come up with?"

"I mean, you're not a dick sucking pro like Suzy -"

"Could we not bring up Suzy?"

Sometimes it felt like Suzy was always getting involved in his sex life, regardless who he was fucking.

"Sorry," said Arin. "I'm just saying. You're obviously, like, super new at this. So it's not exactly mind blowing." He laughed, nervous, and shoved his hair out of his face. "I mean, apart from the fact that, you know, Dan fuckin' Avidan is sucking my dick, which has been my dream since I met you, dude!"

"Since you met me?" Dan put a hand over his heart and tried to look offended. "I knew you were just keeping me around for my looks!"

"Totally," Arin said, deadpan. "I made you a partner in my business and started a band with you, just because I wanted to fuck you."

"You never know, man," Dan said weakly, and he leaned back down, because Arin was looking at him so intently that he was getting kind of uncomfortable.

Dan took the head of Arin’s cock back into his mouth, and he was sucking harder now, flickering his tongue along the tip of it, then tracing the ridge, letting the salty-bitter pre fill his senses. He held on to Arin’s thigh with his free hand, and he tried to keep his teeth from getting in the way.

Arin was groaning like he was in pain, writhing under Dan’s mouth, Dan’s jerking hand, and he was panting, whimpering, grabbing hold of Dan’s hair in big handfuls.

Dan got up on his knees, resting his forearms on Arin’s thighs and using the new leverage to take a bit more into his mouth, still sucking on it.

“Fuck, okay, that’s… that’s better than decent,” Arin murmured, and when Dan glanced up, he saw that the younger man’s head was thrown back, resting on the back of the couch. He was humping into Dan’s mouth, small thrusts, and he was groaning, panting, gasping.

He was sweaty as well - sweating down his tummy, smearing across Dan’s fist, as it worked the lower part of his cock, until Arin grabbed his wrist, staring down at him with a slightly spacey expression. “Dan?”

“Mmm?” Dan didn’t take his mouth off of Arin’s cock, because he could get a bit of it lower now, and that was an interesting sensation.

He could feel Arin’s heartbeat, right up against his tongue, and he traced his name along the bit of shaft in his mouth.

“Dude, I am, like… three seconds away from… from shooting my goo,” Arin mumbled. “If you don’t want me to - fuck!”

Arin came.

His whole face opened up, and his brow furrowed, his mouth falling open and his head falling back. His cum was thick and slimy, bitter and a bit salty.

Dan spat it out, right onto Arin’s stomach, and Arin made a disgusted noise, pulling his shirt up just in time.

“Dude,” Arin said, “a little warning next time?”

“You’re asking me for a warning?!”

“Well, you didn’t have to spit it out on me!”

“I’ll tell you what,” said Dan. “How about next time you blow me, I’ll come in your mouth, and you can see if you can give warning before you spit it out.”

“Who said anything about spitting it out?” Arin waggled his eyebrows, and he took the tissue that Dan was offering. “Spitters are quitters, baby.”

Dan blushed, the image of Arin’s lips wrapped around his dick sliding into his head like a thief in the night.

Welp.

“This is awesome,” Arin said, and he looked genuinely regretful, “but we gotta get back to work.”

“Don’t wanna help me with my little… problem?” Dan indicated his lap.

Arin smirked, raising an eyebrow, and then his face fell, as he glanced at the clock.

“As much as I totally want to get on your dick and ride you like fuckin’ Aslan,” said Arin, “we gotta keep on schedule.”

“You’re right,” said Dan, glancing over his shoulder. He grabbed a tissue, and he wiped his face down. “And I can’t stay late tonight, Holly ‘and Ross are expecting me.”

“You guys are turning super domestic,” Arin said, and he looked… Dan wasn’t entirely sure what expression he was wearing.

“Yeah,” said Dan, and he laughed nervously. “Who would have thought, right?”

“You’re goin’ soft on me, Avidan,” said Arin, and he ruffled Dan’s hair.

Dan endured it, and he leaned over, giving Arin a peck on the lips.

Arin wrinkled his nose.

“You taste like jizz.”

“Not my problem!”

* * *  
Dan was... light headed. Almost giddy.

He kissed Arin goodbye, his cock still hard in his pants, and some kind of tenderness filling up his chest like so much bright light.

He was singing in the car as he drove home, and whistling as he unlocked the door.

Holly and Ross were sitting on the couch, and they were making out, slow and sweet. Holly had her hand down Ross's pants, and she was working his cock. Ross had pushed Holly's shirt up, and was kneading at her breast.

"Oh!" Dan paused, and he took a step back, out of the flickering light of the television. "Do you guys want some, um, time to yourselves?"

Ross held a hand out to Dan.

Holly smiled at him, her lips shiny, and she was panting, her breasts heaving.

"Hi," said Holly. "You wanna join us?"

"Is, uh... is that okay?" Dan licked his lips. "I feel like I should tell you guys, I was, uh... messing around with Arin. Before I got here. So there's, um." He blushed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I've had cum in my mouth within the last twenty four hours. If you'd rather, um... if you'd rather wait for me to kiss you."

Holly and Ross looked at each other, and Ross shrugged.

"Have you had anything else in your mouth since then?"

"Sexually, or otherwise?"

"Otherwise," said Holly.

"I had a sandwich, and some Pepsi," said Dan. "Plus, uh, you know, washed my mouth out after."

"Then I see no problems," said Ross. "Come here and kiss me."

"I'm good with it," said Holly. "But, uh, thanks for telling us."

Dan shuffled closer, quiet on his socked feet, and he did indeed kiss Ross, bent nearly in half. His hand slid over, to rest on Holly's breast, then between them. He could feel her heart beating, and Ross's lips were soft and insistent, his tongue wet and hot as it slid between Dan's lips.

"I wanna blow you," Dan said, against Ross's lips, and where had that come from? Two blow jobs in four hours? What was he turning into, some kind of creepy weird gay stereotype?

But they weren't, like, random blow jobs. They were for Arin, and for Ross.

Totally different.

"Are you gonna throw up on me again?"

"I'm not gonna throw up on you again." Dan turned to Holly, as he got on his knees. "Are you, uh... are you gonna feel left out?"

"I'm sure we can find something to do, after you finish not throwing up on Ross," Holly said, her expression fond.

"Oh ye of little faith," said Dan, and he leaned forward, taking the head of Ross's cock into his mouth.

Ross made a surprised noise, then sank back into the couch, reaching down to gather Dan's hair back.

Dan glanced up at Ross and he saw that Ross was looking at him - Holly was looking at him, her eyes wide and dark, her hand between her legs.

Dan groped along her thigh, until he encountered her fingers, and he squeezed him, letting her guide his fingers wherever she wanted them to be.

She was hot and slippery around him, and Ross was hot and thick in his mouth, throbbing in time with his heartbeat.

Dan had his hands quite literally full of other people's junk, and he didn't think he could be happier if he tried. Maybe if he was getting his own dick sucked, or some Rush was playing. Maybe if there was a bowl of Skittles nearby.

Ross was moaning as Dan pumped and sucked his cock, and Holly had pulled his fingers out of her, and was just holding his hand, breathing heavily, their combined fingers sticky with her arousal.

Dan pulled back, licking the head of Ross's cock and letting it rest against his lip. He looked over at Holly, and he wriggled his fingers.

"Was I not making you feel good?"

"Oh, no, you were making me feel great," said Holly, "but you seem kinda... distracted." She squeezed his hand. "I'd rather wait until I'm the main event."

"Would you rather if he ate you out while I jerked off? Because I could totally live with that," said Ross, and he was grinning lecherously. He could probably do more than live with that.

"Nah," said Holly, and she licked her lips. "I wanna watch."

"Fair enough," Dan said, and he went back to sucking on Ross's cock, jerking it in his hand, Holly's own fingers wrapped around his.

Ross was moaning, beginning to rock his hips. It was... pretty fucking hot, and Dan's cock was twitching in his pants as he took Ross's cock in deeper, swirling his tongue along Ross's circumcision scar, then along the ridge, just under the head.

Ross gasped, and Holly was whimpering, squeezing her thighs together and rocking a bit in her seat. She was almost sobbing as Dan made wet, obscene noises with his mouth, taking in more cock, until he had about half of it in his mouth without gagging.

"You've... g-g-gotten better," Ross said, and he groaned, pushing his hips up. "I'm... I'm close, Dan, fuck, I'm really close, I'm...."

Dan pulled off of Ross, and began jerking him off in earnest, aiming Ross's cock at Ross's belly.

"Can I cum on your chest?" Ross burst out. He was blushing.

"I don't have tits," Dan pointed out.

"You don't need tits for me to c-c-cum on your chest," Ross said. "Please?"

"Okay, sure, hold on," Dan said, letting go of Ross's cock.

His hair sprang back, when Ross let go of it, and he shoved his shirt off, tossing it to the side.

Dan went back to jerking Ross's cock with one hand, his other one still being held by Holly. He was reared up on his knees now, and aiming Ross's cock straight at his chest, his eyes darting between Ross's face and Holly's.

Holly, who was staring at him with wide, dark eyes, and she was licking her lips, her hand down into her panties and rubbing her clit with the tip of her finger.

Ross came across Dan’s chest, and his cum was warm and thick, dripping down to Dan’s nipples, along the flat, pale expanse of his belly.

“Well?” Dan looked up at Ross, expectant.

“W-w-what?” Ross squeezed his hand over Dan’s, making Dan squeeze his cock some more.

“I didn’t throw up on you,” Dan said, and he looked down at his chest, making a face.

Ew.

“Just wipe off with your shirt,” Holly said. She was pulling her own shirt off, and kicking her panties off, down around her ankles. She gaped her legs open wider, and was full on fucking herself with her fingers.

It was enough to make your mouth water.

“Not throwing up is the baseline for most people,” Ross informed Dan. “That’s like asking for an award for not stabbing people.”

Dan snorted, and he stood up, wiping his chest off with his shirt and shoving his pants down. He held Excalibur, squeezing it from root to tip.

“Can you fuck me?” Holly looked up at Dan with her big green eyes, and her pussy was wet and pink and open for him.

Dan grabbed her ankles, more or less folding her in half. He lined his cock up with her pussy, and he slid in, one long stroke.

She was staring at him, and he kissed her, his bony chest pressed flat against her softness, his face in her neck.

One of Ross’s hands crept to cover his, and they both held onto Holly’s ankle, as Holly moaned and gasped, rubbing her clit desperately as Dan fucked her, with his cock and his hips and his eyes.

She was so fucking beautiful.

He was so fucking lucky.

Maybe everything was confusing and scary, but right now… he had Holly, her scent under him, her skin against his.

He loved her so much his chest hurt. He loved her so much his soul hurt.

And he… maybe he loved Ross? Maybe?

Maybe he loved Arin?

“Dan?” Holly’s voice was breathless, and she squeezed around him, her toes curling against the top of his foot.

“What?” Dan blinked up at her, trying to get his mind in something like order.

“You’re in your head,” said Holly, tapping him on the forehead with her damp, musky finger.

Dan let go of one ankle, taking her hand and kissing the palm.

“Sorry,” he said.

“I mean, in fairness, he’s also in you,” said Ross, and he squeezed Dan’s fingers.

Holly rolled her eyes, then rolled her hips, and the motion made Dan moan, shoving himself a little deeper, beginning to full on hump against he.r.

He was already so… keyed up that he couldn’t breathe, his dick throbbing so hard it was almost like pain as he kept fucking her, fucking her, until… until….

“Holly!” He pressed his forehead against hers, and he sobbed as he came, filling her up, spilling out of her, his knees shaking, his whole body on edge. “Fuck, fuck, oh… fuck!”

He collapsed forward, and remembered why he hated fucking standing up.

Holly was rubbing her clit frantically, with her other hand now, and she came a minute later, pulsing around him, drawing out the last bits of cum out of him.

“Fuck,” Dan mumbled. ‘That was a lot of… holy shit.”

“Dan, babe, I can’t breathe,” Holly mumbled.

“Right, right,” Dan said, and he stood up again, still shaky, and flopped out on the floor, flat on his back.

“You look like Orph,” said Ross, prodding Dan in the side with his foot.

“So’s your face,” Dan mumbled, his eyes closed.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” said Ross.

Holly snorted.

Dan grinned up at the ceiling.

How did he get this lucky?

* * *

_Dan, I forgot my new soap. Can you bring it upstairs? I left it in a bag on the kitchen table._

_Sure, just gimme a minute_.

* * *

Dan poked his head into the master bathroom, where Holly was having her bath. It was bright, with the light shining in, and she looked like some kind of water nymph,

“Hi,” said Dan, and he smiled at her, a bit nervous. He hadn’t been in the main bathroom, since he’d moved in.

Which was a bit ironic, considering the damn bathtub had been involved in how he and Holly had gotten together in the first place.

“Hi,” said Holly, and she smiled at him.

“I brought you your soap,” Dan said, handing her the bar. He’d even taken it out of the plastic for her.

It smelled like apple cider, and cinnamon.

“You wanna come in?” Holly was holding a safety razor, and she had her legs over the edge of the tub.

“... what, in the tub with you?”

“Sure!” Holly paused. “Although I need to shave my legs for this stupid cosplay.”

“I can help you,” said Dan, as he slowly shed his clothes. “I mean, if that wouldn’t be too weird.”

“What, you helping me to shave my legs?” Holly laughed, a bit nervous. “I’ve, uh… I’ve got other bits to shave too, if you’d be okay with that?”

He blinked, now completely naked, with half a chub, and observed the tub. How was he going to fit in?

Then her words caught up with him.

“What?”

“To, uh… to be blunt, since i started eating pussy, I’ve kinda realized that hair can be annoying. So I thought I might try making it a bit easier for you?” She looked self conscious, squirming enough to make the water slosh.

Dan climbed in carefully - his legs were longer than than a summer day, and he felt a bit like a praying mantis, folded up as he was.

Holly rested her legs in his lap, and he smiled at her, a bit awkward.

“Do you, uh… do you really want me to shave your pussy? Because I adore it, no matter how you do it.”

“I’ve never had someone else shave it for me,” said Holly, and she was blushing. “Maybe that might make it a bit more appealing?”

“Your pussy is already super appealing,” Dan said,his tone earnest. He even kept up eye contact, smiling at her in what he hoped came off as a sincere manner. “It’s my favorite pussy. I promise.”

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment,” Holly said, after a beat. “If you’re, uh… if you’re willing. And if you’ve ever done something like this before.”

“I have,” said Dan, and he gestured for the razor.

It took a few minutes of wrangling to get everyone sorted out. He ended up crouching, and she had her legs over the sides of the tub.

It was awkward as hell, but he had a lovely view of her, and he brandished the razor carefully.

She handed him the bottle of the shaving cream, and he sprayed a bit of it onto his fingers, rubbing it into the lightly furred skin of her vulva.

It was very quiet, apart from occasional splashes, and the rasp of the razor. He flicked it through the water, clearing out the stiff hair, and he watched the pale skin revealed.

He wasn’t really partial to it in one direction or the other - a pussy was a pussy was a pussy - but it was novel, seeing all this skin on Holly. He wouldn’t complain.

When he had finally finished, he glanced up at her.

She was looking at him, anxious.

“Are... how does it look?”

“It looks lovely,” said Dan, and he smiled. “So pretty I could kiss it.” He paused. “Once I rinse it off. Because shaving cream.”

“Do you wanna kiss it?” Holly bit her lip, and then she sighed, relaxing back into the tub.

“Always,” said Dan, and he groped around for a cup on the counter, turning the water on quickly so he could rinse her off, then began to kiss along her belly.

Her pussy was soft, and it was tender against his tongue. He’d shaved her pretty good - no cuts - and she was sticky under his fingers, her clit already beginning to poke out from under its hood.

Her legs slid closed, ankles resting on his shoulders, and he put his hands on her ass, holding her in place. He began to lick her in earnest, although there was a moment of sensory confusion - he could smell the gardenia of the shaving cream, and he could taste the musky, metallic saltiness of her pussy, and the two of them were getting jumbled. There were a few stray hairs stuck, here and there, and he paused to pluck them off of his tongue.

She moaned and rocked against him, and he began to lick in earnest, from her taint to her clit, then jabbed his tongue inside of her, his nose grinding against her clit, holding on tightly to her as her ass flexed and her legs went solid on either side of his face. He paused, taking one of her outer labia in his mouth and just sucking on it, then put his whole mouth on her again, flickering his tongue along her clit, just the way she liked it.

“Dan, oh god, Dan, Dan, Dan!”

She came across his face like a wave, gushing fluid, and he pulled back to kiss along her inner thighs.

“Oh,” Holly murmured, and she slumped back, panting.

“I did good,” Dan said, and he was smiling at her.

“You always do good,” she said. “Although your face is kinda stubbly.”

“I’ll shave it in the morning,” said Dan. All his shaving stuff was in his own bathroom, anyway.

“Can I shave your face for you now?”

“... sure,” said Dan, although he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

But fuck it.

She had trusted him with a razor near her clit. He could trust her with a razor to his face.

“Can you shave my legs first?” She blushed, biting her lip.

“Sure,” said Dan. “Although, uh, maybe we need a new razor.”

“Good thing I got a packet,” Holly said, and she grinned.

* * *

Dan ended up getting out of the tub to get his shaving kit, complete with the shavette and his special shaving cream. He sat gingerly down in the tub, and he showed her how to do it, carefully.

He’d never had someone else shave him with this kind of razor, but… well, he trusted her.

He trusted her with his life, let alone his face.

She sat in his lap to do it, and it was a bit awkward he had a boner, which was pressing against her belly, and her labia would occasionally rub against him as well.

Her hands were very steady as she applied the lather, and then she looked him carefully in the face.

“I”m gonna start now,” she said. “Don’t move until the razor isn’t touching your skin, okay?”

“Okay,” Dan said, resisting the urge to say “i know,” because she managed to keep her snarky commentary to herself.

… most of the time.

* * *

Holly was very careful as she shaved his face, and Dan closed his eyes, trying not to stare into her face.

She wasn’t the best at it - he was going to have a few nicks, but nothing too serious.

Her hands were so gentle, and her breath was warm and soft.

He didn’t know if he’d ever been this close to another human being in his life.

“All done,” Holly said, after who knew how long.”

Dan blinked at her, trying to get his wits back. He had fallen into a bit of a trance, tinged with arousal, with her warm belly against his cock and her soft breasts against his chest, with the careful ministrations of the razor on his face.

“Thanks,” said Dan. “You did an excellent job!”

“You haven’t seen it yet,” Holly pointed out, blushing.

“Yeah, but you’re usually pretty good at everything you do,” said Dan.

Holly rolled her eyes and nudged him in the shoulder. Then she reached down, squeezing his cock.

“Do you wanna fuck me?”

“Would you believe me if I said I’m actually in the mood for a handy?” Dan smiled at her, sheepish. “No offense to your glorious pussy and your equally glorious mouth.”

“Wasn’t taking any offense,” said Holly, and she grinned, wrapping her hand around his cock. “It’s kinda… circular, don’t ya think?”

“Hmm?”

“I sent you a dirty picture from here and you jerked off. Now we’re both in here, and I’m jerking you off.”

The water was splashing, and it was silky against his cock, as he fucked into her hand, breathing heavily.

It was lazy, comfortable, almost gentle. He sat back, his hands on her hips, and he let her play with his dick.

His orgasm was slow in coming, but it was downright comfortable when it did, rippling through him, spurting across Holly’s hands, across her breasts.

“Fuck,” Dan mumbled, when she had milked him dry, “you really know how to draw it out of me, huh?”

“I’ve had some practice,” Holly said, and she kissed him.

“I love you,” he told her, pressing his forehead against hers, his cum smearing through his chest hair, by way of her breasts.

“You’re just saying that because I made you cum,” said Holly.

“No,” said Dan, and he kissed her again. “I’d loved you if you never touched my dick again.”

He’d miss that, to be sure - he’d miss it like a limb. But he wasn’t even surprised when he ran the scenario through his head, and found himself… kind of okay with it.

Not happy, but… okay.

He’d really really stay with her.

Fuck, he was in deep.

The new song throbbed through his head, with a bassline like a migraine.

A few lyrics floated to the surface, and he smiled at her, and kissed her again.

* * *

“This is gonna be your first tour,” said Holly, cuddled up to Dan in his big bed.

Ross was off with Morgan, no doubt doing something exciting and food related.

Dan’s laptop was open on the bed in front of them, playing an old fantasy movie from the eighties, and he was halfway to sleep.

“No it’s not,” said Dan, stroking her hair.

She had her head on his chest, and she seemed to be paying more attention to his beating heart than to the movie.

“Well, it’s your first tour since you moved in,” said Holly. “And, uh… since, you know, you and Arin starting dating.”

“... huh,” said Dan.

How was that gonna work out? Were they gonna sleep in the same bed? Get different rooms from everyone else?

Were things gonna get weird with Brian?

“Shit is complicated,” Dan complained, and he pulled Holly closer to him.

“I hope I’m not too complicated,” Holly said, in a quiet voice.

“God, no,” said Dan, and he pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. “And I already want the tour to be over, so I can be in my own bed.”

He was starting to drift, and he sighed, as she snuggled up to him.

“About that,” Holly said, after a lengthy pause.

“Mmm?”

“Actually, never mind,” said Holly, and she kissed his chin.

“Look at the unicorn,” Dan said sleepily. “Although she’s being a jerk.”

“Who, the unicorn?”

“No,” said Dan, “the princess.”

“Princesses are usually jerks,” said Holly.

“Hey,” mumbled Dan. “I will not hear you malign Zelda like that!”

Holly snorted, a warm puff of air against his neck, and he sighed, contentment dripping out from his very bones.

* * *

Dan kissed Holly - and Ross - goodbye, and made his way towards the tour.

It was… odd, sitting next to Arin on the plane like this, holding hands, Arin’s head on his shoulder.

It was odder, having their own room in the hotel.

Their own room with one bed.

Um.

“Is this, uh… is this okay?” Arin dropped his bag on the floor, and he rubbed his hands together, shifting from foot to foot. “I figure, since we, uh, since we’ve seen each other’s dicks, it’d be okay. But I should’ve asked first, I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Dan said, and he licked his lips, pushing his hair out of his face. “It’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“Totally sure.”

Arin’s face broke into a broad grin, and it was… it was fuckin’ gorgeous, he was fuckin’gorgeous.

Of course, Dan had to kiss him, with his whole mouth, and one thing led to another, and, well….

* * *

Arin was kissing down Dan’s belly, pushing Dan’s shirt up. He had already unbuttoned Dan’s belt, shoving Dan’s pants down, and now Dan was sitting there in his underwear, his cock hard and throbbing in his boxers.

Arin grinned, looking up and making eye contact. He wrapped his lips around Excalibur, through Dan’s thin boxers, and he sucked, hard enough that Dan’s hips bucked, and Arin actually laughed, the bastard.

“You enjoying yourself down there?” Dan rested his hand on Arin’s head, tangling his fingers in Arin’s hair.

“More than you can fucking believe,” Arin said, a bit breathless. He fished Excalibur out of the fly of Dan’s boxers, and he took it into his mouth, deeper this time, getting almost all of Excalibur into his mouth.

“Oh, fuck, big cat,” Dan mumbled, and he squeezed his eyes shut, his toes curling in his tennis shoes.

Arin had been practicing - he used his tongue, his teeth, his lips. It was enough to make Dan’s eyes roll back in his skull, and he was still humping against Arin’s face, already pretty close to cumming, when something began to buzz.

Arin pulled off of Dan’s cock, looking up at him with a slightly annoyed expression.

“Dude.”

“Mmm?” Dan, his hands still buried in the brown haired, glanced down. “What?”

“Your phone is going off.”

“Let it go,” Dan said, pressing his hips forward, so that the sticky head of his cock was rubbing against Arin’s mouth.

“It might be something important,” said Arin, and he sat back on his heels, grabbing Dan’s phone from its spot on the bed and answering it.

“What’s up? Oh, hey.” Arin tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “Yeah, we’ll be down in like… ten minutes.” He hung up.

“Who was that?” Dan blinked at Arin, still a bit too fuzzy to keep his mind straight.

“Brian,” said Arin. “We’re gonna get food soon.”

“Gotcha,” said Dan. “Do you think you could, uh… continue?”

Arin snorted, but he took Dan’s cock back into his mouth, bobbing his head like a pro.

Dan didn’t stand a chance - he came embarrassingly quickly, and Arin… Arin fuckin’ swallowed it, and holy shit, that was… fuck.

Arin smirked up at him.

“I dunno what you were complaining about,” Arin said. “It doesn’t taste that bad.”

Dan snorted.

“Well,” he said, “at least I’m not going to dinner with a boner.”

“You sure you don’t wanna do somethin with this?” Arin grabbed his cock, which was hard in his sweatpants.

… it was awfully tempting.

Their erotic reverie was interrupted by a loud banging on the door.

“Save it for after dinner,” Brian yelled through the door. “Come on. You’re not horny teenagers.”

“He’s only wrong about one of those,” Dan murmured, and Arin snorted.

He tucked Excalibur away, and he took Arin’s hand.

“Just think of Donald Trump,” Dan suggested. “That should kill your boner.”

“You may have gotten rid of my ability to even have an erection,” Arin said, as he pulled the door open.

Brian was standing there, stone faced.

“Trying the weird kinky stuff already, I see,” said Brian, deadpan.

Dan groaned.

“Let’s just get some sushi.”

* * *  
Dan was... he was having fun.

Sure, he missed Holly, he missed Ross, but in a weird way, it was nice to cut loose from everything, and just have a chance to goof off with his friends.

Brian seemed annoyed and amused at him and Arin's antics, and Vernon would blush, but he would smile as well.

Arin stopped kissing him for the shock value halfway through dinner, and just sat with his hand on Dan's knee.

They got back to their hotel room earlier than usual, and then... well....

* * *

"Where'd you learn this position?" Dan held Arin to his chest like an oversized teddy bear, his cock thrusting slowly between Arin's thighs. They were both lying on their sides, and Dan had his arms around Arin.

"W-w-where do you... think? Fuck, Dan...." Arin moaned, and he actually whined when Dan did something tricky with his wrist, squeezing Arin's hard cock in his fist as he fucked Arin's thighs.

"Porn?" Dan shoved Arin's hair to the side, and kissed along the other man's neck, then up his jaw, leaving pink abrasions where his stubble rubbed against the sensitive skin.

"Yeah," Arin mumbled, and he was humping into Dan's fist, rhythmically squeezing his thighs, and it felt like they were practically rippling around Dan's cock.

"Fuck man," Dan mumbled, his hips beginning to speed up, aided by Arin's sweat and his own pre-cum, "we totally need to... to watch porn together."

"We do that already," Arin said, and he was chuckling, vibrations rumbling through his deep chest.

"Well, yeah, but not for, like... research purposes," Dan said. He grabbed one of Arin's pecs, and he squeezed it, pressing his thumb down on the nipple.

Arin surged against him, groaning like he'd been shot in the gut, and he threw his head back against Dan's shoulder.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Dan, oh fuck, Dan!"

Dan smirked against the skin of Arin's neck, and began to redouble his efforts, moving faster. His own orgasm was approaching at a leisurely pace - they'd been doing this for a while now - and he wanted to feel Arin's cum on his cock.

That was his newest favorite thing, and he planned to pursue it as often as possible.

It was a bit like being drunk - he could do anything, he was gorgeous, he was sexy, he was smooth.

People wanted him.

Arin wanted him, and here was this awesome, cool, smart guy who was, for some reason, actually into him, and he was going to savor it like wine.

He came with a grunt of surprise, spurting across Arin's thighs, onto the underside of Arin's cock, and getting a substantial amount on the bed sheets.

"Fuck," Arin groaned, and he grabbed Dan's hand, squeezing a little harder, using Dan's hand to jerk himself off to his utter satisfaction.

Fuck, that was hot.

Arin came across Dan's fingers, and then he went limp.

There was a pleasant minute or so, where Arin caught his breath and Dan pressed kisses against Arin's sweaty back.

Then Dan's arm started to go up in pins and needles.

"Dude," said Dan. "I need my arm back."

"Aw, but I wasn't even using it," Arin mock whined. He rolled onto his back, and he lay there, staring at the ceiling and panting.

He was completely naked, and Dan sat up to admire the long, pale expanse of him.

They hadn't really had much of a chance to have actual, getting naked sex.

This felt almost... leisurely.

"Fuck," Dan said, and he flopped down himself, grinning like a fool. "You're... fuckin' amazing, you know that?"

Arin grinned, and he blushed.

"Thanks, man."

Dan's phone began to buzz again, and Dan grabbed it, intending to tell Brian to fuck off.

It was from Holly.

"I'll be back in a sec," he told Arin. "Holly's calling."

Arin gave him a thumbs up, reaching for his own phone.

* * *

"Hi, pigeon!" Dan's voice was... embarrassingly chipper. It echoed a bit in the hotel bathroom.

He was always so goddamn happy to talk to her. He'd be embarrassed, if he had it in him to actually care.

"Hi," said Holly. She sounded subdued. "How are you doing? How was your flight?"

"Flight was good," said Dan. "Finished fine tuning that one song I've been trying to get right."

"Yeah? When am I gonna hear it?" There was a rustling sound, no doubt Holly shifting position.

"You'll hear it soon, I promise," said Dan.

"Are you and Arin, um... having fun?" She sounded... well, antsy, but intrigued.

"Oh, yeah," said Dan, and he was grinning into the phone. "We're uh, we're... we're having fun."

"That's good," said Holly. She cleared her throat. "I miss you," she finally said. "Like, a lot. A lot more than I thought I would."

"Yeah?" She sounded sad. It made something in his chest twist unpleasantly.

"Yeah," said Holly. "I'm sleeping in your bed. We both are, actually"

"Oh? Where's Ross?"

"He's next to me," said Holly. "He's kinda asleep already." She gave a small giggle, and it sounded... watery. Snuffly.

"Are you okay?" Dan sat back on the closed toilet, still very much naked.

"I'm okay," Holly said. She cleared her throat. "Brian posted some videos of you and Arin goofing around, and you just look so... you know, happy. Feeling kinda insecure, since I know I'm not... fun, like Arin is."

"You're totally not fun like Arin is," said Dan. "You're fun like yourself." He raked his hands through his hair, forcing it out of his face. "I'm having a lot of fun with Arin, but I'm gonna come home to you, okay?"

He wanted to tell her he'd leave Arin for her, but... she'd never ask for that. He knew she'd never ask for that. It wouldn't be fair to say that to her.

It was one of the many reasons he loved her, he was realizing.

Would he ever run out of reasons?

“Thank you,’ Holly said, and she sounded… relieved. “I’m sorry I’m so… insecure.”

“At least you’re not covering me in lipstick,” Dan pointed out, and he laughed. “You haven’t even gotten into a screaming match with Arin!”

“He’d win,” said Holly, and she laughed again. She sounded much more relieved. “The guy screams for a living.”

“I dunno,” Dan said. “A good amateur can outpace a mediocre professional.”

“Don’t talk about Arin like that,” said Holly. “He’s an excellent professional screamer!”

Dan started giggling, then laughing, and Holly was laughing with him.

“I miss you, pigeon,” he told her. “I’m kinda surprised you’re both sleeping in my bed, actually. Ross always complains about my mattress.”

Holly laughed. “There’s… a couple of reasons for it,” she said.

“Hm?”

“You’ll see when you get home,” Holly said.

“Are you gonna be okay, pidge?” Dan’s voice went soft and concerned. “Is there anything you need?”

“I’m okay,” Holly said. “I feel a lot better for talking to you.”

“I’m glad,” said Dan. “I love you, pigeon.”

“I love you too, fuzz face,” said Holly.

“I shaved today,” Dan said, faking outrage.

Holly snorted.

“Oh! When are you doing the new song?” She sounded a bit embarrassed now. “I’d like to see you do it.”

“I’ll get Vernon to record it for ya,” he said. “Maybe he can stream it to you?”

“Oh wow. Yeah, that’d be amazing.” Holly sighed. “I’m gonna let you go - it’s pretty late there, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” said Holly. “Sleep well. I can’t wait until you come home.”

“Me neither.”

* * *

Arin was smiling at his phone fondly.

“What’s up?” Dan flopped onto the bed, and Arin got up, no doubt to wash the drying cum off of his stomach.

“Was just texting Suzy,” said Arin. “She’s got a crush on this girl and is all excited.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Arin stretched, his arms over his head and his back arching. “This chick has more tattoos than Suzy does, and is super into the gothy rockabilly thing.”

“That does sound like her type,” said Dan, and he yawned. “You wanna… um, watch a movie or something?”

It was weird to sort out sleeping arrangements like this.

His first time sharing a bed with Arin. This was gonna be interesting.

“Sure,” said Arin, pulling on a pair of pajama pants. “Just gimme a sec. I’m gonna wash everything off. Get the movie started.”

* * *

Dan was drowsing when Arin came back into bed, and he cuddled up to him, his head on Arin’s chest.

It was weird, being the one who was being held.

A nice kind of weird.

That was his last thought, before he fell asleep.

* * *

“Brian,” Dan said, the next morning over breakfast, “I wanna perform the new song.”

“Yeah? I’ll talk to the guys.”

Tupperware Remix Party was eating breakfast as well, maskless and sleepy eyed.

“And, uh, Vernon, could you tape it? When I sing it, I mean.”

“Sure,” mumbled Vernon, and he yawned.

Dan grinned, way too excited by this.

It was going to be excellent.

* * *

It was a nice enough day. They explored the city a bit. Dan got gifts for Ross and Holly - he got several gifts for Holly, including a few plushies. There was ice cream, and a pretty awesome museum, and subpar pizza.

By the time the show was starting, Dan was antsy.

“Can I facetime it to you?” Dan asked Holly, calling her from the green room.

“Sure,” said Holly. “I’m like, embarrassingly excited to see this new song.”

“Where’s Ross?”

“He and Morgan are messing around in the kitchen.”

“Like... fucking, or like cooking?”

“Morgan showed up with a sack of vegetables and declared that they were gonna make food out of them, so I assume they’re cooking.”

Dan laughed.

“So I’ll just put it on facetime,” said Dan. “You can watch it that way. Vernon will have the camera.”

“Gotcha,” said Holly.

“I gotta go now,” said Dan. “I love you!”

“I love you too,” said Holly. “I’ll see you soon!”

Dan laughed.

* * *

They were gonna open the show with the new song - Dan didn’t want to leave Vernon standing there with his arms up, filming for god knew how long.

He had Dan’s phone, and Holly was live on facetime.

So he stood under the great lights, and tried to squint into the roaring crowd for Vernon.

He didn't have much luck.

So he just spoke to the audience at large.

“This is a new song we’re debuting,” Dan said into his microphone. “It’s dedicated to the love of my life.” He kissed the pigeon tattooed on the inside of his wrist, and then the music started to play.

It had a deep throbbing bassline, like a migraine.

* * *

After the show, Holly called him, and she was laughing, and she was crying.

“I’ve never had someone write a song for me before,” she said. “I mean, other than when Ross messes around on my ukelele.” Then she started laughing harder, and she was hiccuping.

She used to be so uncomfortable with big displays of affection like that. Was she going to be alright? Had he embarrassed her?

“Babe, talk to me,” said Dan. “Can you breathe? You sound like you're choking.”

“You're gonna have some angry teenage fans,” said Holly, when she had calmed down enough to get words out again. “Oh my god, you may have just started such a shitstorm.”

“I mean, they can't expect me to be single forever, right?” Dan laughed, a bit nervous.

Shit.

Was this going to lose him fans?

Fuck it. Fans who weren't happy for him being happy weren't worth the breath he spent singing.

“You don't know your fans, do you?” More giggling. “I'm gonna let you go, fuzz face. I've got a date with Suzy in an hour.” She made a kissing noise into the phone. “Thank you for the song.”

“I love you, pidge,” Dan said quietly.

“Love you too,” said Holly, and then she hung up.

“How did I end up with “fuzz face” as an affectionate nickname?” Dan asked Arin, who was sprawled out on the bed like a cat.

“It does suit ya,” said Arin.

“Traitor,” Dan said, shoving Arin in the side.

Arin snorted, and pulled Dan down onto his level.

“Shut up and cuddle me,” said Arin.

Dan snorted, flopping down onto the bed beside Arin.

Far be it from him to ignore such a nice request.

* * *

Dan came home from a tour four days later, exhausted and missing Holly and Ross.

Being with Arin like that was fucking awesome, it totally was.

But Dan was looking forward to sleeping next to someone who didn't snore, or radiate heat like a goddamn nuclear reactor.

He kissed Arin, and climbed out of the car, making his way towards home with his bag over his shoulder.

He hadn't even been living here that long, and already it was home.

Anywhere that had Holly was home.

… wow, that was an intense thought.

Dan yawned - it was late, and he was jetlagged and dopy.

Holly opened the door before he had a chance to get his key out, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Then she pulled back, making a face.

“You taste like airport,” she told him.

“What does airport even taste like?” He walked into the house, following after her, his hand on her lower back.

She was here , right in front of him. He could smell her, he could touch her.

It was good to be home. a

“Go sit,” she told Dan. “I'll bring your stuff upstairs.”

“You're amazing,” he told her.

She flushed, and kissed him again.

“Hey man,” said Ross, when Dan collapsed on the couch next to him. “Good to see you.”

He deposited Orph into Dan's lap, and Dan stroked the cat, leaning over and kissing Ross on the mouth.

“You taste like airport,” Ross said, making a face.

“That should what Holly said,” said Dan. “You guys spend too much time together.”

“It's almost like we're married,” Ross said, deadpan.

He was… cuddling up to Dan. That was… that was nice.

If nothing else, this whole polyamory sure brought about all lot of cuddling.

Holly came to sit on Dan's other side, cuddled up to him, petting the cat and holding Dan's hand.

“I missed you so much,” Holly murmured into his neck.”

“I missed you too. Both of you.” Dan sighed, finally - finally! - relaxing, sinking into the couch and his eyes drifting closed.

* * *

He was woken some time later - the cat had left his lap, and he had Holly's hair pressed against his nose.

“I think it’s time for bed,” Ross said, and he stood up, stretching and yawning.

“Yeah, that's a good idea,” said Dan. He stood up slowly, so as not to disturb Holly, and he stretched, unfolding like a lawn chair.

His back cracked.

“That… does not sound healthy,” said Holly, standing up as well.

“Airplanes, man,” said Dan.

* * *

Dan came out of the bathroom, his mouth still tasting like mint, and he was surprised to see Holly standing in the hallway, looking shy and nervous in her pajamas.

“Would you wanna… sleep with us tonight?”

“Sure,” said Dan, making his way towards his room.

“I meant… with us,” said Holly.

“What, in your bed?” Dan raised an eyebrow. That was… unexpected.

Ross and Holly's bed was… sacred. It was just for them - it was one of the core agreements of the relationship.

Except not anymore, apparently.

“Will we all fit?” Dan followed after Holly, into her and Ross's bedroom.

“We got a new bed,” said Ross, sprawled out in the middle of it.

They had indeed.

And it was fucking huge.

It was the same size as Dan's bed.

“Why did you get such a big bed?” Dan crawled into it, flopping down next to Holly.

The room looked a lot smaller now.

“I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with your bony elbows in my ribs,” said Ross, rolling onto his stomach.

… rest of his life?

“I mean,” Ross said, possibly sensing Dan's panic, “you're still free to sleep in your room. But… you're always welcome here. This will be your room too.”

“... oh,” said Dan, and he shivered, momentarily overwhelmed.

“I'm sorry, is that too… big a gesture?” Holly was cuddled up against his side, her fingers wrapped around his.

“I mean, I literally wrote you a love song and declared you're the love of my life in front of a crowd of thousands of people,” said Dan, deadpan.

“... fair point,” said Holly, and she turned the light off.

Ross snorted, then yawned.

Dan went to sleep, slowly, the music of his new song running through his head, the bassline throbbing like a migraine.


End file.
